Science & Technology

Co-worker with cold strangely confident it is no longer contagious

A 29-YEAR-OLD woman with a severe cold has reassured colleagues that it is definitely not contagious.

Simple townsfolk ask city dwellers to shut the f**k up about Uber

BRITAIN’S townsfolk have asked their sophisticated, city dwelling cousins to just shut up about Uber.

Woolly mammoth crowned Sexiest Extinct Species

THE woolly mammoth has beaten off stiff competition to be crowned the hottest animal that no longer exists.

Henry V’s warship 'looks less cool now'

THE historical warship found in a mud bank is now just a plank, experts have warned.

Tragic iPhone 6S has big emotional battery death

AN IPHONE 6S has told its owner to be strong and carry on after its shitty battery gave out.

Roomba unveils 'Roomba for Shaving'

ROBOT vacuum cleaner company Roomba has unveiled a robot which shaves you while you sleep.

98 per cent of computers emitting puns

MOST of the computers, tablets and phones in Britain are emitting puns, all of which are hellish, it has emerged.

iPhone owners being into bondage 'makes perfect sense'

A PORN site has confirmed that iPhone owners are deeply submissive masochists who love pain, exactly as you would expect.