Science & Technology

Female body hair ‘may stop women meeting twats’

FEMALE body hair is a massive turn-off for virgins, shallow narcissists and picky twats, it has emerged.

Philae was distracted by female comet landers

THE comet lander 'Philae' lost contact with Earth because it was too busy looking at lady comet landers.

Female scientists look ravishing when they take off their glasses

THERE is a striking transformation from ‘clever’ to ‘gorgeous’ whenever lady scientists take off their glasses, it has been claimed.

Cats hand over internet to goats

FELINE dominance of the internet will be handed over to goats later today.

Middle class people still convinced science is evil

SCIENCE is basically evil despite things like cancer treatment, according to most middle class people.

Shell-sponsored museum exhibit claims oil is birds’ version of wine

BIRDS love to drink crude oil with their supper, according to a Science Museum display sponsored by Shell.

New species was man’s earliest annoying relative

ARCHAEOLOGISTS have unearthed bones of man’s first annoying relatives, who were always turning up at his cave on weekends.

Magic mushrooms help to hallucinate home ownership

MAGIC mushrooms could help people to hallucinate they are on the property ladder.