Science & Technology

Scientists unveil half-doughnut cow

THE 'cownut' is the latest advance in humanity's quest for doughnut variants.

Saturn moon is beach ball lost by massive aliens

ONE of Saturn's moons is a beach ball misplaced by a race of super-massive aliens.

Light sabres will exist when Star Wars completely ruined

LIGHT sabres will become a reality shortly after Star Wars has been completely ruined, it has emerged.

No stupid person ever made clever by fish and nuts

MORONS are not transformed into geniuses by eating oily food, it has emerged.

I am utterly pathetic, says nagging voice in iPhone queuer's head

THE inner voice of a man queueing for the new iPhone is telling him that he needs to get his shit together.

Software updates cursed by evil leprechaun

A WICKED leprechaun has cursed all of mankind's software updates to fail dismally.

Apple users queuing at home for iOS7 release

FANS awaiting Apple's new operating system have lined up in their front rooms to be the first to download it.

Everyone desperate to try parbuckling

MILLIONS of people are keen to try their hand at righting something massive that has fallen over.