Science & Technology

Middle-aged people obsessed with leather phone cases

BRITAIN'S middle-aged people simply cannot get enough of leather smartphone cases.

Everyone to be given a lump of uranium

DAVID Cameron is to reduce energy prices by giving every household a lump of radioactive material.

Lidl launches £12.99 tablet

BUDGET supermarket Lidl has unveiled a tablet computer costing under thirteen pounds.

GM rice opponents 'wicked', says eight foot tall grain of rice

PEOPLE who oppose genetically modified rice are immoral, according to the world's largest sentient grain of rice.

Scientists unveil half-doughnut cow

THE 'cownut' is the latest advance in humanity's quest for doughnut variants.

Saturn moon is beach ball lost by massive aliens

ONE of Saturn's moons is a beach ball misplaced by a race of super-massive aliens.

Light sabres will exist when Star Wars completely ruined

LIGHT sabres will become a reality shortly after Star Wars has been completely ruined, it has emerged.

No stupid person ever made clever by fish and nuts

MORONS are not transformed into geniuses by eating oily food, it has emerged.