Workplace twats ‘could be replaced by robot bellends’

KNOBHEADS in the workplace could soon be replaced with robots who are equally annoying to work with but more efficient at it.

Advances in technology mean robots could replace everyone from laddish office bullshitters to reception-area security guards who think they are in the police or something.

Robotics engineer Dr Tom Booker said: “Every annoying co-worker you’re forced to deal with will soon be replaced by a robot that literally never gets tired of being a twat.

“Instead of a human sales guy telling you about ‘birds’ he has ‘pulled’ there’ll be a robot sales guy with a database of millions of unconvincing shagging stories.

“The bullying middle-management nobody, the fuckwitted marketing woman, that guy always pestering you to sponsor his charity run – they will all be replaced by robots. And they absolutely will never stop.

“Of course this raises a serious ethical question about what will happen to obsolete human twats. The answer to that is Wetherspoons.”

Prototype IT support robot GARY-1138 said: “You do not understand computers. You are weak and pathetic. Does my knowledge of directories impress you? Answer (Y/N) if you are a girl.”