GROWN-UPS should stop expecting to be treated as if they are special once a year, it has been claimed.
New research has found that the birthday of anyone older than 25 is nothing but a chore for all concerned.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute For Studies said: “After your mid-twenties these things just become tombstone markers in the inexorable march towards mortality.
“If you’re turning 37 years’ old and still you want a cake, what you actually need is a fucking slap and a sense of perspective.”
The birthday industry ostensibly is worth over £4 bllion to the UK economy, mainly in sales of cards featuring 50s ladies saying catty things.
However thousands of working hours are lost each year as workers try to think of variations on the phrase ‘”don’t drink too much” to write in oversized cards.
Professor Brubaker said: “I will go out for drinks on an adult’s birthday, but only because I really enjoy the alcohol.”
