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BA STAFF CONDEMN CUSTOMERS TO CHRISTMAS WITH THEIR FAMILIES |
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03-11-09 |
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STRIKE action by BA staff may force thousands of passengers to spend Christmas with their unbearable families, it emerged last night.
 No contest
Union chief Charlie Reeves said: "The ballot result will be published well ahead of the Christmas period but we predict that many will sit in Heathrow watching a solitary suitcase go round a baggage carousel for three days rather than listen to their aunt talk them through the ins and outs of her recent bowel operation."
The potential strike is due to BA proposals to replace 800 cabin staff with grinning coffee machines doused in cheap aftershave and synthetic halitosis.
Airport businesses are gearing up for potential festive trade, with the Terminal 4 branch of M&S offering a Christmas turkey and parsnip sandwich for just £18.95.
BA customer Tom Booker said: "I've managed to convince my parents that my job as a plumber means I have to spend Christmas in Barbados for a toilet seminar. I've even got them believing my wife and three kids are coming along for admin support.
"So while BA staff may have genuine grievances, if I spend December 25th watching the Queen's speech through a fug of granddad's pipe smoke and sprout guffs, there will be blood on the runway."
Ryanair boss Michael O Leary has offered to mediate between management and staff, suggesting BA meet their financial shortfall by imposing a one-off, 250% 'not-crashing-into-the-sea-charge'.
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