BRITAIN is now fully abnormal after Bez, the Happy Mondays dancing man, decided to stand for Parliament.
The formerly spaced-out maraca soloist will stand in Salford on a platform of promoting permaculture, in what experts confirmed was the final piece in Britain’s ‘weirdness jigsaw’.
The move coincides with record breaking March temperatures, Noel Edmonds’ desire to purchase the BBC and the thing that is happening to David Moyes.
Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, said: “What makes it even more unusual is that if you read his article in the Guardian Bez comes across as a thoughtful, intelligent person who has not passed through a mushroom-induced ‘stargate’ with Shaun Ryder. It’s as if his body is being used as a vessel.
“Perhaps ‘Bez’ – as we understand the concept – really is an extra-terrestrial pod and the previous version of ‘Bez’ was just an experiment – on us.
“Either way, it’s all very odd.”
