the dailymash

News websites struggled to cope as millions of violently confused readers found themselves unable to contain their angry, ill-informed opinions.

A BBC spokesman said: "Britain is obviously trying to tell us something but they need to slow down and do their very best to communicate in whole sentences."

Some of the comments posted on The Times yesterday:

I don't know who these people are or what this is all about but thanks to them I have spent
the entire morning being violently sick on my neighbour's car. It's a bridge too far. Or is it two bridges not too far enough? Bring back Hattie Jacques!
Mrs Margaret, Guildford

How would they like it if someone came into their bedroom in the middle of the night and drenched them in gin and started fondling their legs and then playing with their willy until it made a horrid mess? Not very much, is what I think. Filthy boys. We should kill them with lions.
jstraw, Blackburn

Thankfully I missed this whole sordid episode. When will the BBC do the right thing and repeat in full? I get back from work around six.
Chewbacca, Norwich

But the granddaughter though eh? She's not exactly, you know, is she? I mean come on, let's not forget what this is really all about. Exactly.  
Vote UKIP!
paddingtonbear69, Macclesfield

This reminds me of the time the Dimbleby brothers phoned me up during 'Any Answers' and offered to wank me into a teapot. I see the BBC hasn't changed one bit.
Andypandy, Taunton