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CAB DRIVERS INSTALL SIGNS CONFIRMING THEY SPEAK RACIST |
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03-02-10 |
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TAXI drivers in Southampton have installed signs reassuring passengers they speak nasty, ill-informed horseshit.
 Charlie Reeves is taking a 10-week course in Advanced Gypsy
Cab driver Charlie Reeves said: "I've passed my forced repatriation and I'm now fluent in the four pillars of racism. It's a bit technical but in laymen's terms it's Job Stealing, Funny Food, My Bloody Taxes and Natural Rhythm."
He added: "In London it's called Doing the Lack of Knowledge whereas down here it's known as 'Reading the Papers'."
Drivers are now required to give a full tariff of services provided, with a detailed account of how they once got a trial for West Ham the same year as Trevor Brooking, charged at clock-and-a-half.
How much they love their grandson even though he has a 'touch of the tar brush' will cost twice the normal rate, though passengers can expect a 10% discount if the driver ever indicates he had never thought about it that way before.
Southampton councillor, Roy Hobbs, said: "For many people arriving in Southampton, the taxi driver is the first experience of speaking to a genuine British moron.
"Taxi drivers are as much a part of the fabric of British life as vandalised Jewish cemeteries and phone-in sports radio and we do not want that being watered down by some reasonably well educated second generation immigrant who just wants to drive people to their destination without making them want to puke."
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