THE number of babies created from the sperm of a single donor should be increased to boost Britain's quota of gap-toothed inbreds, experts have claimed.
The Institute for Studies said the more babies who have the same father, the more likely it is they will grow-up to have sex with each other, thereby creating a race of dungaree-clad mutants.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: "Think of it. Thousands of jug-eared banjo twangers and chainsaw-wielding halfwits, as well as an endless supply of guests for the Jeremy Kyle Show.
"He could have an entire channel devoted solely to these big-nosed, squirrel-eating swamp-freaks and their intricately complex social lives. I could watch that all day."
The number of sperm donors has dropped since the removal of anonymity for men who accept money in exchange for ejaculating into a beaker.
Meanwhile there is an ever increasing demand from childless couples determined to start their own horrifyingly shallow gene pool.
Professor Brubaker added: "We could set them all free to live in the woods and build their own strange, introverted societies.
"It would certainly make country walks more interesting and would also be a great place for a stag weekend.
"The fun doesn't really begin until the groom has been stripped, violated and told to squeal like a pig."
