Carnival gives mixed response to police sound system
THE official sound system of the Metropolitan Police has had a moderately successful first outing at the Notting Hill Carnival.
It was a busy day for the Pat Metheny Appreciation Unit
Metro Sounds, a collective of senior officers specially trained in pulse-fingering, is part of the force’s renewed effort to reconnect with disaffected youth.
Chief Superintendent Stephen Malley, aka DJ Julius Bravo, said: “It was always going to be difficult balancing the twin objectives of getting the party started and ensuring the party didn’t get out of hand.
“However I believe we achieved this by alternating bass-heavy r’n'b and bashment records with smooth, melodic 80s lounge rock by the likes of Pat Metheny.”
MC Detective Inspector Emma Bradford accompanied the music with lyrics about how to avoid being a victim of opportunistic crime.
She said: “I spat rhymes about not leaving your bag unattended and using a secure money belt in crowded public areas, things like that.
“From my vantage point on the stage I was also able to spot incidences of drug use. The individuals responsible were recorded on a tiny camera hidden in my fake Dior sunglasses.”
Festival goer Nikki Hollis said: “It looked like they had got the token black copper to DJ on the assumption that he would have the best record collection.
“I went up to the decks to ask him for some Roy Ayers and he searched me for drugs.
“I found this particularly offensive as I happened to be carrying some drugs at the time .”
