‘Cheeky’ kid actually complete little bastard

A CHILD described as ‘cheeky’ is actually a menace to everyone around him, it has been confirmed.

Relatives regularly describe six-year-old Tom Booker as ‘cheeky’, ‘mischievous’ and a ‘rascal’, but teacher Martin Bishop prefers the expression ‘evil little bastard’.

Bishop said: “When Tom’s mum said he was cheeky I assumed he’d be prone to acting the clown, not constantly hitting people and asking if I’m an ‘arse bandit’.

“Tom’s cheekiness also includes threatening to ‘smash the place up’ if you ask him to sit down. I’d be scared myself if he wasn’t four feet tall with a ridiculous squeaky voice.

Tom’s mother Lisa said: “Tom can be a bit of a handful. He’s always coming out with some cheeky comment like ‘Mummy, why has that man got no hair?’, or ‘Look at that fucking fat bitch!’

“I admit he enjoys setting fire to buses, but it’s not arson, it’s just being a scamp.”