Children’s top job is striking tube driver

CHILDREN want to grow up to be tube train drivers refusing to work pending negotiations, it has emerged.

More than half of five-to-11-year-olds surveyed said they want to be underground drivers because they want the ability to paralyse a major city.

Eight-year-old Stephen Malley of Hounslow said: “I’d make the big choo-choo go really fast, getting all the men to work on time, then I’d draw angry signs with my coloured pens and picket head office.

“Then I’d go home and play with my friends and enjoy the sunshine.”

The children have been fondly indulged by London residents, who hopes they fulfil their dreams because they don’t mind the inconvenience in the least.

Tube driver Bill McKay said: “When I was a little boy we’d line up all my wooden trains outside the Fat Controller’s station and refuse to run a night service.

“Of course, we always ended up tying him to the tracks and running Gordon the Big Engine over him a few times, then leading a Marxist revolution bringing the Isle of Sodor’s bloated capitalist government to its knees.

“Then we would all eat biscuits until we felt ill.”