Coke-snorting jungle fever is the real America, says Palin
SARAH Palin last night claimed drug taking and having sex with tall, muscly black men was the dream of every real American.
Even better when coked
The former Alaskan governor said that filling your nose with dream powder or riding a mighty basketball player was the ‘golden tomorrow’ of every middle-class ‘hockey mom’.
Palin, a leader of the right-wing Teapot movement, added: “To all those who wake up in the morning, hoist the flag on their lawns and make waffles for their kids, I know how much you wish you were buzzing like a freak while screaming for more.
“You just want your kids to be safe, go to college and get a good job while you pay your mortgage and score some kick-ass blow before climbing on board a man who is so much more than that hard-working, pasty faced salesman you’re so proud to be married to.
“But the real scandal is that the cronies in Washington keep all that sweet powder to themselves and use their corporate contacts to get great seats at basketball games, so close they can almost reach out and touch those glistening black thighs that can go all night long.
“I want you to know that I will always stand with you and if we stick to our beliefs, cherish our values and keep faith in God we can all share in an orgasm that you would simply not believe.”
Margaret Collins, a housewife from Ohio, said: “Sarah Palin is just an ordinary American girl who can communicate so passionately my burning need to get really well fucked every once in a while.
“And if I can do that while being so high I can actually see Jesus then, God willing, we can take our country back.”
