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FANS of Coldplay are more likely to display the personality traits of unbearable, self-satisfied arseholes, according to new research.
 Jazz fans can go to the toilet on the bus
At a party a typical male Coldlay fan will find the prettiest girl in the room, ask her about the saddest time in her life and then sing 'Fix You' until she agrees to touch his penis.
Research director Dr Tom Logan, said: "Over the past three years I've had to talk to more than 2000 Coldplay fans. I think I'm going to kill somebody."
What does your musical taste say about you?
BLUES: White, well educated and rich. No personal problems whatsoever.
JAZZ: Cool, deaf, horribly incontinent.
CLASSICAL: Intellectual, introverted and a bit of a c*nt.
RAP: High self-esteem, enjoys spraying pavement with AK47 and calling your momma a bitch.
DANCE: Annoyingly friendly. Constantly moving arms.
COUNTRY AND WESTERN: Outgoing, enjoys organising rallies and distributing angry pamphlets.
STING: Just fuck off. Fuck off right now.
ROCK/HEAVY METAL: Smells of stale urine, thinks Battlestar Galactica is art.
CHART POP: Bubbly, outgoing, easy to throw off a high building.
INDIE: Self-absorbed, idle. A little shit, basically.
SOUL: Sensitive, creative, prone to exaggerate size of genitals.
CLIFF RICHARD: Strangely asexual. Until you meet the right priest.
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