Couple in long deathly silence after deciding to stop moaning


A LONG period of uncomfortable silence is ongoing after a couple decided to stop moaning. 

Regular married man Stephen Malley said: “I was really, really tired and had a sore neck. My wife was also complaining of a sore neck and similar level tiredness, although clearly she wasn’t as tired as me.

“Having reached a complaining stalemate my wife Alice suggested we make a pact to stop moaning forever.

“I thought we would be fine. That was four days ago. Not a word has been uttered since. Without moaning we have nothing.”

Alice Malley said: “I thought our relationship was built on love and a mutual fascination with the world around us. Now I discover its based on finding each other and most things really, really annoying.”

Stephen Malley added: “I heard some jazz and thought, lovely, I’ll discuss that with Alice but then I saw she had left a wet towel on the bed and also the broadband wasn’t working.

“I just went in the other room and sat in a chair.”

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