Everyone apologises for everything
EVERYONE has apologised for everything they have ever done, said, or spelled wrong.
The dramatic move prompted anger, relief and further apologies.
The comprehensive outpouring of sorry became inevitable after a steadily mounting number of public apologies for things people had done, been perceived to have done or were anxious not to be perceived to have done, mostly on Twitter.
The orgy of apology began late last week when a woman apologised for a tweet, withdrew the tweet and then apologised again.
This was followed by a man making a minor spelling mistake that if you looked at it a certain way was almost about race, prompting further apologies.
Within hours a footballer had apologised and by Sunday the prime minister jumped on the apologising bandwagon after claiming Ed Balls was a fucking nutter.
Yesterday the apologising took a new and disturbing twist when a chef apologised to a supermarket.
By last night an estimated 80 per cent of tweets were apologies at which point Twitter’s ruling council decided it would be better to just draw a line under the whole sorry situation and get everyone to just apologise for everything, ever.
As of 9am Wednesday morning there is still no apology for Made in Chelsea.