Everyone shocked to realise how much they know about porn
AN adult film actor contracting HIV has prompted millions of people to suddenly realise they know the names of a least eight porn stars.
'I'd forgotten that I had this room full of DVDs'
As news broke yesterday that the male performer had tested positive for the virus, everyone found themselves wondering whether it was Rocco Siffredi, before doing a mental double-take and realising how fucked up it is that they even know who Rocco Siffredi is.
Office manager Tom Logan said: “Actually, my first reaction was ‘could it be a contract performer for one of the big studios like Evil Angel or Vivid?’.
“Then I thought, I’m a 38-year-old man with two kids, a steady job and a pleasant chocolate labrador called Hardy. I shouldn’t be able to name any stars of hardcore pornography, let alone a couple of production companies.
“I very much doubt that, when he was my age, my father had a passable working knowledge of LA’s hardcore sex industry or knew what a ‘contract performer’ was.
“Something has changed in society and I suspect it’s not good. Nevertheless even discussing the subject has made it inevitable that I shall be ‘quickly checking my hotmail in the spare room’ tonight when the wife retires.”
Driving instructor Stephen Malley said: “I want to be a genuinely respectable person. If only there was some Total Recall-style brain hoover thing that could suck out all the images of Tera Patrick, Sasha Grey and Tori Black and replace them with happy family picnics.”
He added: “Sometimes I think the internet has yanked out my moral compass and repeatedly stamped on it with a stiletto heel.”
Housewife Nikki Hollis said: “I often watch porn with my husband because we like to make our love life slightly depressing.
“At the last count I could name 39 female porn performers just by looking at close-ups of their mouths.
“I can’t remember any of the men though. They all just look like aggressive oven-ready turkeys with bad tattoos.”
