'Feral' comment wrong because it came from Ken Clarke, say experts
DESCRIBING the semi-literate moral vacuums who looted England as ‘feral’ is wrong because Ken Clarke said it, experts have confirmed.
In a long article in the Guardian, the justice secretary condemned the rioters before setting out in detail how he really had no idea what to do about it.
But it is his description of the rioters as a ‘feral underclass’ that has caused outrage among thousands of metropolitan liberals who were using precisely the same phrase right up until this morning.
Jane Thompson, from Finsbury Park, said: “Actually, I think you’ll find I was calling them a ‘floral underclass’. If only they would bloom in the full colour of their amazing potential.”
Her partner, Nathan Muir, added: “I suspect you may have misheard me when I was talking about my old university friend, Beryl Underpass.”
Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, explained that very often a statement can be factually correct until the very moment it comes out of Ken Clarke’s mouth.
“At that point it becomes the sort offensive rubbish typical of fat, out-of-touch, old Tory bastards.”
He added: “However we did also establish that people who use the term ‘feral overclass’ seem unable to understand that just because bankers are shits doesn’t mean the rioters aren’t shits.
“We have therefore devised a simple test which involves asking Mr Carpetright whether he would prefer to pay an extra quarter of a percent interest a month on his overdraft or have his fucking shop burned to the ground.”