the dailymash

As new research found that sexist men earn significantly higher salaries, Tom Logan, a new man from Oxford, said: "This has been a complete waste of time."

The study found that men who treat women as equals and can name all the actors on Grey's Anatomy can expect to earn no more than £22,500 a year.

Meanwhile, bearded, olive-skinned men in long white robes who treat women like pack animals, often earn up to £20m a week and have a Bentley for each of their race horses.

Mr Logan added: "I started doing this at university because I was given a cast-iron guarantee that I would get a lot of fanny.

"I learned how to make flaky pastry, I got a cat and I cried my eyes out at Schindler's List. And what did I get in return? A long list of 'friends' who seem pretty sure that I'm a poof.

"Meanwhile I've not had a promotion since 1996, I share a one bedroom flat with some nice Sudanese people, and this year I went on holiday to Reading.

"First thing tomorrow I am walking straight up to our office manager and telling her she's got phenomenal tits and that I would very much like to cover them in Angel Delight.

"And that fucking cat's going in the bin."