Getting something lodged in skull still best way to get on page eight of Metro
GETTING an unusual object stuck in your facebone is still the best way of starring on page eight of Metro, it has been confirmed.
'I'm afraid he has a teapot stuck in his head'
Researchers found that over a 12 month period the eighth page of the freesheet carried 151 stories involving people of all ages with a variety of household objects lodged in their brains.
Dr Julian Cook said: “Pick an original object – something that’s not been done before.
“An angle-poise lamp, a Doberman, or maybe even something vaguely topical, like a Libyan dessert spoon.
“Then, simply hold it next to your tear duct and run into a wall.”
Metro has become the country’s most popular newspaper that doesn’t cost anything with a daily diet of getting-things-stuck-in-your head stories, differences between men and women that hark back to cavemen stories and stories about the discovery of a new dinosaur with its length expressed solely in terms of London buses.
Meanwhile the paper recently invested in a specialist correspondent whose job it is to make sure they don’t accidentally run the same cat story they got off the internet more than twice.
Cook added: “On your return from casualty, Metro will print a stunning, quarter-page x-ray of your head with the object rammed into it, together with the smaller photo of you holding the object and smiling”
“Try not to die though, because then they can’t use it.”
