Hipster with pipe admits he has gone too far this time

A HIPSTER has disgusted even himself with his latest affectation of smoking a pipe. 

Nathan Muir, a craft beer social media guru of Shoreditch, confessed that the pipe has tipped his daily uniform of blue-tinted glasses, three-inch squared-off beard and neck tattoos over the edge.

He said: “I even hate the smell of it. Cardomon tobacco? But of course I couldn’t have the ordinary kind.

“All the other man-buns sigh with resignation when I get the foul thing out – it’s a 1939 half-bent billiard – but I can’t drop it now, I’m committed.

“But honestly I caught my reflection when I was DJing at the barbers the other day, pipe clamped in teeth, and an instinctive loathing rose within me. My fists twitched. The H-A-T-E tattoo on my knuckles felt non-ironic.

“I think this might be it. I might finally be too horrified at what I’ve become to continue. I’m free.”