Intelligence-Boosting Drugs Make Children Question Point Of Exams
SCHOOLCHILDREN on brain-boosting drugs are questioning the whole point of the education system, it has emerged.
Out of the mouths of pharmaceutically-dependent babes and drugged-up sucklings
After doubling their IQs with pharmaceuticals, many pupils have completely lost faith in the idea of working hard at school in the vain hope of landing a repetitive office job with some hateful corporation and then handing most of their earnings straight to the government.
Kyle Stephenson, a 13-year-old Reminyl user, said: "My parents' generation worked hard at school, got so-called 'jobs' and slaved for decades to achieve an onerous mortgage, matching stomach ulcers and a deep reservoir of poisonous resentment.
"Therefore I could continue to diligently study oxbow lakes and isoceles triangles in the hope of getting sufficiently decent grades to join them on the soulless hamster wheel of modern life, or I could find a nice tree and sit under it playing the bongos and toying with my genitals.
"Who amongst you would dare to call me 'time-waster?'"
Fifteen year-old Donna Sheridan was predicting five Bs and four Cs before her parents put her on a course of drugs that boosted her IQ to 296.
She said: "My former interests in Twilight and being fingered have been eroded by a growing awareness that humanity is operating on a broken template, the dogged pursuance of which will lead to its unavoidable annihilation.
"Simultaneously I have come to the realisation that most of my teachers have little more than a rudimentary grasp of their supposedly specialist subject, having fallen into their career with a mixture of apathy and grim resignation after their true ambitions were thwarted by misfortune or lack of talent.
"Hence I can't be arsed to go to my French listening test and there's fuck all you can do about it."
