James Murdoch denies reading resignation email

04-04-12

FORGETFUL former BSkyB chairman James Murdoch has claimed he had no idea he had resigned.

Murdoch was uncertain whether he had a father

The Prince Edward of the Murdoch dynasty was startled by reporters outside his office yesterday and needed several minutes to quickly check through his Blackberry, once his assistant had told him where it was, to work out what they were talking about.

Murdoch said “It appears that for the good of the company I work for, whose name escapes me, it was apparently decided at some point it would be best for me to relinquish whatever my duties were.

“I would ask that the press respect my privacy at what I’m told will be a difficult time and allow my former employers to continue their fine work in whatever it is they do.

“Television? Really? I thought we made fridges or something. I was given an information pack when I started but I just sort of skimmed through it.”

Murdoch will now look for employment elsewhere and his ability to deny any knowledge of serious criminality in the firm he works for has drawn interest from a number of oil companies.

Opinion is divided in business circles whether his look of confused surprise throughout the inquiries into phone hacking was the result of carefully­ orchestrated dissembling or genuine idiocy, but both are valued assets in the petrochemical industry.

Murdoch said “I’d like some time with my family – which I’m sure involves a wife and some little people running around the place that I presume are my kids – to think about my next move.

“Now. Where did I park my car?”

 

 

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