Last bit of sausage forced to watch as rest of breakfast eaten before him

08-10-17

THE last bit of a sausage has been forced to watch his fellow breakfast ingredients being devoured in front of him.

Mouthful of sausage Martin Bishop was the only remaining survivor of a full English breakfast that was eaten this morning, and says he’s not sure if he can deal with the memories.

Bishop said: “First a load of the beans went, then the yoke of the egg was split in half.”

“Then the black pudding, my God, the black pudding.

“Then he started on the sausage and I thought that was it for me. But he left me. Left me to watch as he mopped up the last of the sauce with a little bit of toast.

“I feel a mixture of relief and guilt. Although I think all sausages carry a bit of guilt and shame, just for being sausages.”

Bishop is now dealing with the trauma by talking it over with other remaining bits of breakfasts in the cafe’s bin.

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