Man playing public piano in railway station doesn’t realise he’s a twat

A MAN tinkling about on a public piano in a railway station is unaware he is getting on everyone’s tits.

The man, sporting slightly unkempt long hair and three-day stubble which he thinks makes him sexually attractive, is hoping to impress the sort of girls who fall for an untalented stranger playing music at them in a railway station.

But experts have confirmed there is no such thing.

The man said: “Yeah, I just saw the piano and had the urge to create. I don’t need an audience, I just need to express myself. It’s like I’m in a world of my own.”

Noticing that he was failing to attract an audience, the man added: “IT’S LIKE I’M IN A WORLD OF MY OWN.”

Emma Bradford, who was enjoying a coffee until the twat started making noise, said: “I like men who do things with their hands. But not that.”