A HIPSTER riding an old bicycle through London has been judged the coolest motherf**ker in history.
Julian Cook took his newly acquired mode of transport out for the first time yesterday, safe in the knowledge he was sure to make a scene.
Eyewitness Emma Bradford said: “He’s like Picasso, mixed with Bruce Lee with a hint of Jimi Hendrix thrown in.
“His graceful presence caused total strangers to strike-up conversations about how amazing he was and how we all wanted to be just like him.
“I don’t know how anyone could possibly arrive at the conclusion that he’s a self-absorbed bellend.”
Cook said: “I don’t really care if they were looking at me to be honest. You don’t ride a penny farthing to be looked at.
“You do it for the love of large, 19th Century bicycles.”
