Man's wellbeing improved by job on bullshit wellbeing survey

08-11-17

A MAN is much happier after getting a well-paid job on a dubious survey into the nation’s ‘wellbeing’, he has revealed.

Julian Cook feels his life has vastly improved after getting a management role working on the vague, highly subjective and probably pointless poll.

Cook said: “It’s fascinating finding out if people’s wellbeing is increasing. Mine definitely is because I’m coining it in and never work more than 37.5 hours a week.

“Cynics might argue that just asking loads of people whether they feel happy or anxious is far too crude a methodology to have any value, but I’m definitely feeling a lot more chipper.”

Cook added: “Obviously I’m aware the survey is perception-based so people might be sad because their gerbil has died or ecstatically happy for a shit reason like thinking all the immigrants are going to be deported.

“However I’ve got my own office and we get free doughnuts on Fridays. That’s a confirmed 0.000001% of the population that is doing great.”

Cook’s wellbeing later increased even further after the survey was widely reported in the media and all his friends were impressed.

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