Most children don't really need to go to school, say experts

03-10-11

THE majority of British children should be excused from having to go to school, it has been claimed.

A scandalous waste of everyone's time

Chris Woodhead, England’s former chief inspector of schools, said that for most children there was no academic or vocational benefit from a long, dreary education, filled with words and numbers.

He added: “If a child at the age of four can go to the toilet by itself and eat with its hands, I would be very happy for that child to go into a combination of apprenticeship and training shoe assembly.

“We don’t write children off in this country soon enough.”

Woodhead said that all the vast majority of children needed was to be shown how to press the red button that will eventually bring help after they have stitched their thumbs together.

“Rather than wasting arithmetic on children who will never count, the schools can focus on the literate and numerate elite who will grow up to become television producers.”

Woodhead was backed by Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, who said that contrary to common belief most of the jobs in the future will involve meat rather than computers.

He added: “For every one person who operates a computer it will take four people to process that person’s daily sausage requirements.

“Therefore most toddlers simply need to be shown how to push intestines into a gigantic Magimix without losing an arm.”

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