subscribe
/ Sign Out

Of course, when you think about it, it was inevitable, says some smart-arsed twat

THE election of Donald Trump was inevitable and obvious, according to some smug, smart-arsed twat.

The twat, Martin Bishop, used words including ‘disenfranchised’, ‘swamped’ and ‘angry’ to bolster an argument which was later described as ‘obvious’ and ‘rubbish’.

Bishop said: “White working class, ignored, globalisation, elite.”

He added: “Politics of emotion, social media, ignored, globalised, ignored, elites, ignored, ignored, ignored. This doesn’t really affect me.”

But Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, said: “It’s because Hillary Clinton was a shit candidate.

“Are we done?”

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

I was actually born in Kenya, says Obama

BARACK Obama has admitted he was born in Kenya and ‘you can all go fuck yourselves’.

At a White House press conference, the soon to be former president confirmed he had thoroughly enjoyed his time in office and had been lying about his birth certificate all along.

He said: “Job done. Got to live here for eight years. It is a seriously nice place. I also had a huge plane and a helicopter and I could play golf whenever I wanted.”

He added: “Anyway, enjoy this total shitfest. I’m going to become a professor, or head of some big UN thing.”

President Obama then laughed and went back to watching a marathon session of Salvage Hunters and looking at a brochure for ‘one of those massive Audis’.

Next story ›