THE Conservatives have pledged to introduce free lunches for primary school children with traditional, right-wing values.
PLUMBER Roy Hobbs just has to nip off and get a part, it has emerged.
THE police have apologised to anyone who thought they still solve crimes.
The school was made of purpose-built bricks and had doors where you could go in and out, mostly without being felt-up by some pervert.
UKIP has launched a passionate defence of traditional Anglo-Saxon freedoms by reporting everyone in Britain to the police.
THE UK's housing boom could collapse as people realise what a nightmare moving is, it has been claimed.
A WOMAN from Cheltenham has been condemned for her ongoing silence about Boko Haram on social media.
THE University of Life has once again been declared the best educational establishment by bitter middle aged men.