KENSINGTON and Chelsea council is to stop billionaire residents from digging escape tunnels that allow them to live like normal people.
FIRST-TIME buyers have welcomed stamp duty cuts that will help launch them on a spiritually barren path of buying incrementally large houses.
A WOMAN has failed to realise that outrageous fashions are just part of a grim celebrity publicity machine.
PARENTS across the country are making every effort possible not to see their children's Christmas plays.
BRITAIN is desperate to see breasts except when they are being used to feed a baby, it has been claimed.
THE government is to spend almost £600 billion on the four biggest things it could think of.
THE volume of attractive wives needing immediate no-strings sexual encounters is becoming a humanitarian crisis, it has been claimed.
A GRANDMOTHER in Lancashire has begun boiling the vegetables for her Christmas dinner.