Society

Woman who is her own harshest critic gives glowing review again

A WOMAN who claims to be highly critical of herself has decided she is doing brilliantly.

Fresher gets free condom that will stay in his wallet for next three years

A FRESHER has been given a free condom that will stay in his pocket throughout university.

49-year-old teased about his bike

A MIDDLE-AGED man is very upset after being teased about having a cheap bike.

London house prices falling because it is horrible

HOUSE prices in London have slumped because the city is an awful consumerist nightmare, it has been claimed.

It's Monday f**king morning again, experts confirm

IT IS Monday f**king morning and time for another round of this bullshit, it has been confirmed.

Lack of religious education leaves pupils unprepared for life in 1951

MORE than a quarter of England’s secondary schools do not offer religious education, leaving pupils unable to cope with life in the early 1950s.

90 percent of kebabs more regrettable than 90 percent of one night stands

NINETY percent of kebabs are significantly more regrettable than most drunken one night stands, researchers have have confirmed.

Man playing public piano in railway station doesn’t realise he’s a twat

A MAN tinkling about on a public piano in a railway station is unaware he is getting on everyone’s tits.