PEOPLE in the North will observe three days of mourning following the death of the founder of Pukka Pies.
THE social stigma against smoking pot into middle age has been officially lifted.
HOME workers spend up to 85% of their working day laughing spitefully at anyone stupid enough to be in an office.
THE mothers of men behind Twitter rape threats are being urged to boot them out of the parental home where they inevitably live.
THE King's Cross area of London has been transformed into a ghastly business centre where drugs and dirty sex can no longer be purchased openly.
CHARITIES have been told to start being likeable again.