Society

Time-waster parents banned from using Pets At Home as free day out

SCUMBAG parents with no intention of buying animals have been told to stop bringing their bloody kids to Pets At Home.

Boyfriend bears no relation to description of him

A WOMAN’S latest boyfriend does not match the glowing description she gave to friends, it has emerged.

Man meeting new girlfriend's mates unaware of how much they already know about him

A MAN meeting his new girlfriend’s mates for the first time is unaware of the extensive knowledge they already have about him.

Northerner likes coffee

A NORTHERN man has shocked colleagues by expressing a preference for fancy coffee over a large mug of very strong tea.

Teenagers at isolated camp on Friday 13th dutifully prepare to be murdered

A GROUP of teens staying at an isolated location have realised it is Friday October 13th and are resigned to their inevitable murders.

Cool teacher actually completely negligent

A POPULAR and inspirational English teacher puts no effort into her job whatsoever, she has admitted.

Female friend of gay man secretly believes he will one day turn straight

THE longtime female friend of an out and proud gay man secretly believes he will one day become straight, she has revealed.