Future generations to wonder why ancestors built Stonehenge A303 tunnel

FUTURE generations will walk around the Stonehenge A303 road tunnel wondering why it was constructed, it has been confirmed.

Woman opposed to anything that makes world a better place

A WOMAN dislikes anything and anyone that tries to improve the world, it has emerged.

Plumber making men feel inadequate for not knowing plumbing

A PLUMBER regularly humiliates men in their own homes because they do not understand plumbing, it has emerged.

Britons beg to be released from tyranny of Facebook birthdays

MILLIONS are pleading with Facebook to stop making them spend vast amounts of time responding to birthday notifications, it has emerged.

Man finds true happiness comparing himself to less successful friends

A MAN has discovered a profound sense of contentment and inner calm by comparing his fairly average life with the lives of unluckier friends.

Strike-hit workers competing over bullshit travel stories

BULLSHIT stories about epic commutes during strikes are spiralling out of control, it has emerged.

Londoners wonder if this living hell is worth it to be slightly ahead on food trends

LONDONERS are considering whether living in a nightmarish urban dystopia is worth it just to enjoy food crazes two months early.

Utter dickhead wants to know why his relationships keep going wrong

A DICKHEAD does not understand why women keep dumping him.