TRIPS to bowling alleys are always organised by men who want to show off, it has emerged.
A POLISH man is overwhelming a village in Cornwall, it has been claimed.
THE vanguard of Russell Brand’s revolution will be people who are out of their minds, it has been confirmed.
DIVORCE lawyers are making unsolicited calls to ask if you have suffered a marriage, relationship or children that are not your fault.
SOUP is continuing to insist it is a main course despite barely functioning as a starter.
ONLY animals go to Heaven, it has emerged.
BRITAIN'S national character now includes the belief that everything is an evil conspiracy.
A SPECIALIST soft play centre for hard evil kids has opened near Swindon.
- Incredibly depressing time capsule buried
- Inclusive community choir secretly hoping the shit ones will quit
- Bus driver only discriminates against people who do not have the exact fare
- Violent winds prompt everyone on flight to stare intently at the magazine
- Someone always has to be difficult, confirm scientists