Man with unfashionable front door feared by neighbours

A MAN without a trendy oak panelling front door is a dangerous non-conformist, neighbours believe.

Britain looking forward to bonfire night because it can’t afford to put the heating on

BRITAIN’S enthusiasm for firework displays is really about avoiding extortionate heating bills, it has been confirmed.

UKIP calls for ban on gay fencing

UKIP has called for the abolition of openly gay fencing.

The Brexiter’s guide to what’s British

Here’s the ultimate Brexiter's guide to what is British and what will leave our shores forever when the Sacred Emerald is placed in the Queen’s crown to trigger Article 50.

Being 'reasonable' is for total f**king dickheads, agrees Britain

HOLDING reasonable, considered political opinions is now only for total shithead idiots who should shut the fuck up forever.

Hygge is byllshytte

THE Danish art of liking pleasant things is a load of fyckinge wynk, it has been confirmed.

Britons of all races united against Daily Mail

MULTI-RACIAL Britons are united in thinking the Daily Mail is full of shit.

Woman who cried at Pride of Britain awards delighted by benefit cuts

A WOMAN moved to tears by the Pride of Britain awards is also pleased about new benefits cuts.