Woman hopes to meet the right man then reject him because of a tiny superficial detail

A 29-YEAR-OLD woman is desperate to meet a suitable man then dump him because of a small detail in his looks or mannerisms.

Workers perplexed as colleague opts for wet-look gel

OFFICE staff were confused this morning after a colleague arrived with wet-look gel in his hair.

We need to look after our own first, say people who would never help anyone

TOTAL bastards have responded to the refugee crisis with a sudden interest in looking after their neighbours.

Girlfriend annexes final item of boyfriend’s clothing

A GIRLFRIEND has completed the process of annexing every item of her boyfriend’s wardrobe.

Nation heroically fights down more beer to cut deficit

THOUSANDS of heroic Britons are selflessly downing extra pints of beer in the name of fiscal solvency.

Northern man almost added kisses to text message

A MAN from Leeds came within a split second of putting a row of Xs at the bottom of a text message to a woman he likes.

Woman not quite pregnant enough to deserve seat

A WOMAN on the train is just not pregnant enough to oblige fellow passengers to offer her a seat, it has emerged.

‘Generation rent’ least exciting youth movement in history

BEING a member of ‘generation rent’ is far less interesting than being a punk, hippie or raver, renters have claimed.