A BOYFRIEND of two months has expressed fake wonder at how the leaves have changed colour.
PEOPLE should be in a state of lockdown inside their homes before children armed with fireworks start roaming the streets, officials have warned.
A GRANDFATHER has turned off his television as soon as a sex scene began.
SOUTHERN friends of a man from the North suspect he is lying about how gritty yet welcoming the region is, they have revealed.
RAIL delays this Christmas could prevent tiresome family members from coming to your house, it has emerged.
A TEENAGE pop fan is having her first experience of overreacting to something in order to get attention.
A PUMPKIN is wondering why he has been left in the back garden when just two days ago he was really popular.
A MAN who drives everywhere with his headlights on full beam believes he is making the road safe for everyone.
- Secret to happiness ‘is to ignore everyone and everything’
- Lorries wow M4 with thrilling display of formation driving
- Man going to Halloween party dressed as ‘capitalism’
- Child wondering exactly when his father is going to grow up
- New Facebook feature tells users when friends are deliberately ignoring them