MILLIONS of perfectly normal Britons firmly believe they have some sort of ‘victim’ status, it has emerged.
A WEALTHY family leave their shit lying all around the pub whenever they visit.
FOUR out of five people would completely fail to heed the lesson in Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, experts have confirmed.
A TEENAGER has bought her 44-year-old aunt a CD of ‘wartime favourites’, it has emerged.
ABSOLUTELY no one is enjoying being in the pub today more than a local dog, it has emerged.
PEOPLE who sit in a ticketed seat on a busy train are rebellious heroes like Han Solo, it has been confirmed.
A MAN accidentally said 'she'd get it' while watching a television advert with his mother, it has been confirmed.
BRITISH Christmas trees have said they cannot face being in living rooms after such a hellish year.