Random man dicked about with pub fire

A MAN took charge of a pub’s wood-burning stove despite not working there or being a regular, it has emerged.

Folding cycle attempted to overtake normal bike

THE owner of a folding bicycle has narrowly survived after attempting to overtake a cyclist with normal-sized wheels.

Open the f**king door, Dry January people tell landlords

PUBS are surrounded by hordes of desperate, angry Dry January participants.

Stranger in supermarket has some parenting tips for you

SOME twat in Tesco wants to tell you what you are doing wrong with your baby.

Man can’t decide whether to go out and get pissed or stay in and get pissed

A MAN is facing an impossible dilemma between getting drunk in the pub or getting drunk at home.

Cecil Rhodes statue comes to life and rampages through Oxford

A STATUE of Cecil Rhodes at Oxford University has come to life and gone on a racist rampage through the town.

Man has absolutely no intention of leaving his comfort zone

A MAN has confirmed he is completely happy in his comfort zone and the chances of him leaving it are zero.

Nice people planning surprisingly heartless break-ups

PEOPLE who seemed quite nice are preparing to split up with their partners in surprisingly brutal ways, they have revealed.