Them foreigners is a right bunch, say angry old men

ALL them foreign buggers is coming over here and having a bit of how's your father with our lovely poppets, according to Conservative members of the House of Lords.

Towns with best 'quality of life' all sound shit

THE UK towns with the best 'quality of life' all sound like stuck-up smugholes with a 'green' and an expensive butcher, Britain has agreed.

Dog can’t wait for owners to come home and see what he’s done with the place

A PET dog cannot wait for his owners to come back so they can see how he has remodelled the house.

Latest 80s revival is man’s relationship with school girlfriend

FOLLOWING Ghostbusters and Stranger Things, the latest 80s revival is Nathan Muir’s relationship with Nikki Hollis from 1988.

Elderly to be cared for by the china figurines they love so much, says government

BRITAIN’S elderly will be cared for by their china dogs, milkmaids and ladies in fancy hats, the government has announced.

Londoner fascinated to hear about life in ‘the regions’

A LONDONER is desperate to hear more about the provinces after learning of ‘life forms beyond the M25’.

Man claims his life being ruined by immigration but can't explain how

A MAN who feels immigration is negatively affecting his life cannot give a single concrete example of how, he has revealed.

New dog realises he is there to make or break relationship

A NEWLY adopted dog is realising he has been brought in to prevent a break-up.