Brexiters flock to see ‘Weeping Di’ memorial plate

‘OUT’ voters are flocking to see a Princess Diana plate that weeps real tears, it has emerged.

UK witchcraft up 700 per cent

WITCHCRAFT has increased by around 700 per cent across Britain in the last 12 months.

Man leaves speaker by open window to let everyone know how bad his taste in music is

A MAN has left his speaker by an open window in the hope that people will hear how awful his taste in music is and recommend something good.

Northern family has no-nonsense day out

A FAMILY from Bolton has gone on a blunt, plain-speaking and principled day out at a theme park.

Dogs refuse to recognise other dogs’ right to exist

DOGS are continuing to loudly resist the rights of other dogs to exist in the same street, park or garden as them.

Town launches urgent appeal to help man without a shed

A MIDLANDS town has launched an urgent charity campaign to help a 47-year-old man who has found himself without a shed.

Churchill reference a bit obscure, worries racist

A BRITISH patriot is worried that the five pound note featuring Winston Churchill is too obscure for its target audience.

Student realises his life is polar opposite of Jack Wills advert

A STUDENT having a post-wank piece of toast has realised his existence could not be less like clothes company Jack Wills’ depiction of university life.