'This is a witch hunt' says man who would have happily burnt women at stake 400 years ago

MEN are being subjected to a witch hunt according to a man who would have burnt a woman at the stake 400 years ago for turning down his sexual advances.

'Bring back British hand swearing'

THE traditional British V-sign is being undermined by the transatlantic 'middle finger' type of hand abuse, it has been claimed.

Red-faced old men demand army adverts aimed at them

OVERWEIGHT middle-aged men who the army could not use even to soak up bullets have demanded recruitment ads be aimed directly at them. 

Woman doing make-up on train getting disapproving looks from man scratching his balls

A WOMAN applying make-up on a train is receiving moody stares from a man who has been scratching his balls throughout the journey.

Dog thinks dream about chasing rabbits must have deeper meaning

A DOG believes his dream about chasing rabbits must have some sort of deep hidden meaning.

Smiling new mums in cafe sharing birth stories more gruesome than Human Centipede

A GROUP of happy-looking new mothers in a cafe spent the morning exchanging experiences of labour so horrific they make Saw V sound like Mary Poppins.

Worker who is top of office fantasy league also bottom of productivity league

A MAN who is in first place in his office’s Fantasy Premier League is also in last place for amount of work done, it has emerged.

Woman leaves house to give her cat some space

A WOMAN has gone on a shopping trip so her pet cat can enjoy a bit of alone time, she has admitted.