Middle class parents concerned about lack of dark chocolate Easter eggs

MIDDLE class parents have expressed concern at the lack of dark chocolate Easter eggs for their children's refined palates.

Barista's band is thankfully really shit

AN OBNOXIOUS hipster prick barman's band is thankfully really shit, it has emerged.

Everyone pretending to be cool with unexpectedly expensive restaurant

A GROUP of diners are pretending to be unfazed by the discovery that they are at an incredibly expensive restaurant.

Pompous arse thinks he's some sort of Brexit peacemaker

A MAN keeps telling people they should put aside their differences over Brexit like he is Gandhi or something, it has emerged.

We just don't think about the weird bits of the Bible, admit Christians

CHRISTIANS avoid doubts about the implausible parts of their faith by simply not thinking about them, they have revealed.

Couple believe they are totally unlike other couples

A NEW couple have congratulated themselves on having a totally unique bond that is quite unlike any relationship that has previously existed.

Man with wife and kids has photo of dog as screensaver

A MAN with a wife and children has chosen a photo of his beloved dog for his phone screensaver.

Little piggy who stayed at home has benefits stopped

THE little piggy who stayed at home has had his Universal Credit benefits stopped, it has been confirmed.