Society

What the hell is this 'prom' bullshit? asks everyone over 30

ANYONE aged 30 or over is having difficulty accepting that school leavers now get to go to a big prom, they have confirmed.

'So much for the Great British Summer!' say dreadful twats

THE normalisation of the weather has caused an upsurge in verbal twattery, experts have warned.

Most social attitudes 'stupid and confused', finds Social Attitudes Survey

MOST Britons believe in stupid contradictory bullshit that is impossible to analyse, a survey has found.

Britons physically incapable of having just one drink

MOST Britons cannot possibly have just one drink, researchers have confirmed.

Cat 'f**king livid' after human managed to walk up behind it

A CAT is incandescent with rage after his finely-honed hunting instincts failed to detect a man walking up behind him.

Glass of red wine about to be placed on carpet by idiot

AN idiot is moments away from placing a glass of red wine on her friend's carpet, it has been confirmed.

Man just going to ignore new girlfriend’s belief in reincarnation

A MAN is sure his new relationship will be fine if he simply ignores his partner’s beliefs about reincarnation.

Big beard and tattoos no longer a sign that you're hard

HAVING a big beard and an arm full of tattoos is no longer a sign that you would be handy in a fight.