Daley’s sexuality not remotely important, says Clare Balding’s gran

TOM Daley’s sexuality is not a particularly big deal for society or diving, Clare Balding’s gran has confirmed.

Razzle 'more culturally significant than Playboy'

LEADING thinkers have questioned Playboy's status as the world's most culturally relevant pornographic magazine.

First-time buyers advised to not bother

ANYONE struggling to buy a house has been advised to give the whole nightmare as wide a berth as possible.

Student debt to be reclaimed in Betty Blue posters

GRADUATES with loan debts must hand over their Betty Blue posters, it has been announced.

All laws suspended to promote shopping frenzy

'BLACK Friday' shoppers have been told it is fine to kill or maim anyone getting in their way.

Stupid poor people are stupid and poor, says massive blonde-haired child

THE debate over social mobility was reignited last night thanks to an opinion from an economy-sized boy.

Straight men to have casual sex with each other

HETEROSEXUAL men are to address the gender imbalance in appetite for casual sex by just doing it with each other.

Grown men sleeping in street to get video games machine

ADULT men have been sleeping outdoors because they want an electronic toy.