Society

Dad breaks 10-hour silence to recommend using the M69

A FATHER did not say a word during a 10-hour family visit until telling his daughter to use the M69.

Romantic massage deeply unpleasant for both parties

A COUPLE who thought giving each other massages would be ‘sexy’ have been left traumatised by the experience.

Neighbours invited to party on condition they don’t come

A MAN has invited his next-door neighbours to a party he is holding tomorrow night on condition that they do not attend.

Daydreaming office worker mutters 'They'll see, they'll all see'

A DAYDREAMING office worker has been caught mouthing ‘They’ll see, oh yes they’ll all see’ to herself.

Show-off couple to have twins

A FLASHY couple are expecting twins just to go one better than their friends with only one baby.

Passenger requesting refund taking the absolute piss, says train company

A TRAIN operator cannot believe the fucking nerve of a passenger who is demanding a refund because his train was 90 minutes late.

Couple who 'don’t have to talk all the time' clearly going to split up

A COUPLE who claim to enjoy spending long periods of time in silence are quite obviously doomed, it has emerged.

Annoying principled friend wants you to sign yet another petition

A TIRESOME friend wants you to take two seconds to help yet another persecuted group of people and or animals.