SHORT men have confirmed plans to spend the day contemplating their small stature.
SHOTS do not count as a round of drinks, expert drinkers have agreed.
AN UNDERAGE boy has been served a pint of beer by his local pub after age recognition software confirmed that he was 44 years old.
A LONELY man believes he has picked up subtle sexual signals from a female colleague’s behaviour.
A VEGETARIAN has rejoiced at the one suitable meal offered on a restaurant menu.
A SELF-EMPLOYED man would love to be trapped in a soul-destroying salaried job, he has confirmed.
TWO-THIRDS of all immigrants were imprisoned on their home planet Krypton before escaping and heading to Britain, the Daily Mail has revealed.
AN EXPRESS reader is struggling to come to terms with his new reality after receiving a different newspaper by mistake.