Society

University of Life brings in tuition fees

STUDENTS hoping to move on to higher education from the University of Life must now pay a four-figure annual sum.

Man just assumes he's getting minimum wage

BAR worker Tom Logan has not even bothered to ask his boss whether his new job pays more than the legal minimum wage.

Human Rights Act to be replaced with Warhammer rulebook

THE Government has today confirmed that it will be replacing the Human Rights Act with Warhammer 40,000: The Rules.

Weed dealer has easily penetrable ‘code words’

LOCAL drug dealer Tom Logan insists on using the word ‘yoghurts’ as a code for weed.

Pub with two extra beers apparently having a festival

A LOCAL pub is apparently staging a beer festival by bringing in two additional ales.

Embarrassing email address amnesty declared

PEOPLE who chose ridiculous email addresses before the internet properly caught on will be allowed to anonymously exchange them.

Our jobs are not even slightly dignified, Britain points out

THE prime minister’s promise to give everyone "the dignity of a job" has confused Britons whose jobs are a humiliating parade of shame.

Married couple flirting on Twitter

A MARRIED couple are sending each other flirtatious tweets, horrified onlookers have confirmed.