Children's top job is striking tube driver

CHILDREN want to grow up to be tube train drivers refusing to work pending negotiations, it has emerged.

Police relying on karma to punish criminals

CRIMINALS do not need to be caught because their bad karma will catch up with them, according to the police.

Cafe customer torn between wanting specific bit of cake and looking like a dick

A WOMAN has found herself torn over whether to pinpoint the specific slice of cake that she would like.

Man celebrates 30th birthday by abandoning dreams

A SWINDON man has celebrated the end of his twenties by accepting that none of his childhood ambitions will ever come to pass.

High-earning houses ban humans from living in them

HOUSES are now worth so much they do not want people living in them and lowering their tone, they have announced.

Man visits place where all the news is from

A LINCOLN man has visited London to see the locations where all his favourite news bulletins are shot.

Middle-aged man still dogged by school rumour about getting off with a rabbit

A 46-YEAR-OLD man is still plagued by a rumour from his school days that he French-kissed a rabbit.

Man hands teddy bear into lost property instead of putting it on social media

TWITTER and Facebook users are hunting for a man who failed to turn a lost toy into a viral internet phenomenon.