Woman wondering if cat is husband material

A 32-YEAR-OLD woman thinks her cat might be ‘the one’, it has emerged.

Man to carefully weigh up pros and cons of EU then just be racist

A MAN is planning to carefully assess the risks and benefits of Britain leaving the EU then just vote on the basis of not liking immigrants, he has announced.

Bus lanes are communism, says motorist

BUS lanes mean that Soviet Russia is still alive and well in Britain today, a motorist has claimed.

Men called Robert smug about all the different ways of saying their name

MEN called Robert believe they are better than other men because they can be called Rob, Robbie or even Bob.

Mothers wondering what half-arsed effort they'll get on Sunday

MOTHERS cannot wait to find out what cheap, lazy attempt at thanks they will receive from their children on Sunday.

Homeless man really enjoying jokes about his Rolls Royce

A HOMELESS man has confirmed that jokes about his Rolls Royce, 40-room mansion and millionaire status make living on the streets so much easier.

Women only care about money, says man who only cares about looks

A MAN who judges women entirely on their physical appearance is furious that they judge men on their wealth.

Man thinks anything he doesn’t understand must be easy

A MAN’S simple-minded ignorance has left him convinced that everything from teaching to programming a computer is easy.