PUNK was far less important than ex-punk Tom Logan likes to think, it has emerged.
THE sickening odour of rice cakes drifting across the country has prompted a nationwide search for a person on a diet.
THE world is on the cusp of peak exhaustion after hitting peaks in every possible field.
17-YEAR-OLD driver Tom Logan is demanding petrol money from friends that is disproportionate to his actual fuel costs.
ECONOMIST Thomas Piketty's Capital is on course to become the most unread book of the early 21st Century.
THE virtue of wisdom has ended its affiliation with beards.
COUPLES with televisions in the bedroom enjoy better and more frequent sex by proxy, it has emerged.
EVERYONE who owns an Audi TT is living slightly beyond their means, it has emerged.