A HOMELESS man has returned a coffee that was given to him by someone exploiting Waitrose’s free drinks offer.
THE other foods in your fridge are all scared of the cheese, it has emerged.
USING language to express ideas is far too much trouble, it has been agreed.
SCHOOL halls being used as polling stations have an overpowering childhood stench, it has been claimed.
A HORRIFIED man has realised the party he promised to attend tonight will be spent watching David Dimbleby and Andrew Neil.
MOST adults spend more then ten hours a week slumped in stationary cars hiding from their miserable lives, it has emerged.
THE biggest dickhead you grew up with is now claiming to be a mixed martial arts fighter.
A THREE-DAY weekend has reinvigorated workers’ resentment of the shit they have to do for money.