Society

Everyone thinks their baby or kitten could be a model

ALL owners of babies or kittens are convinced they would be perfect for lucrative advertising work.

People with trust funds think it’s normal

TRUST fund recipients think it is normal to have large amounts of free money.

Man not like other men in lapdancing club

31-YEAR-OLD strip club visitor Wayne Hayes has condemned the other men there as perverts.

Plymouth ‘most expendable part of UK’

IT would not be a big a deal if Plymouth was destroyed in a nuclear explosion, according to the government.

Half-pint drinkers make plea for tolerance

PEOPLE ordering smaller glasses of beer have demanded an end to being ridiculed.

A Level students reassured that it's all bollocks

STUDENTS getting exam results have been reassured that even if they did less well than hoped, the whole thing is a load of bollocks.

Police to be trained in not f*cking things up

THE police are to receive training in how to get on with solving crimes rather than just f*cking things up.

Being alone better than spending time with most people

NOT socialising is preferable to hanging out with annoying people, it has been claimed.