A FAMILY has decided to treat the referendum result as an overwrought personal drama.
MILLIONS of Britons are furious that they were allowed to vote on leaving the EU, they have announced.
EVERYBODY in the UK would like to know precisely what the actual fuck, it has been confirmed.
THE number of old ladies being helped to cross British streets has plummeted since Friday.
SOMEONE has briefly changed the subject, it has been confirmed.
SUNDERLAND will become a gleaming, futuristic utopia by 2018 now that Britain is leaving the EU.
A RACIST nan who is fuelled entirely by hate has began her slow and unsteady journey to the polling station.
A BEAUTIFUL woman is to continue being annoying because everyone will still be nice to her.
- Woman forgets to eat lunch but remembers to tell everyone about it
- People posting stuff on timelines that should really have gone in a message
- Cat’s owner thinks it has favourite flavour of catfood
- Man takes off Monday to spend time with roast leftovers
- Man at party refuses to acknowledge he drank out of can that was being used as ashtray