Social mobility hampered by mutual loathing between classes

SOCIAL mobility in the UK is prevented by our utter loathing of anyone even slightly above or below us on the social ladder, a report has found.

Member of liberal elite struggling to pay rent again

A MEMBER of London’s fancy, stuck-up liberal elite is unable to afford his rent, it has emerged.

Everyone worried winter hats make them look like dicks

MILLIONS of Britons are feeling unconfident in their winter hats.

Writing with pen and paper hailed as latest twatty show-off thing to do

SITTING in a cafe with a notepad instead of a computer is the new twatty thing to do, it has been confirmed.

Working class man not particularly angry

A WORKING class man has confirmed that he is not remotely full of hate.

Sucker MCs to blame for everything

SUCKER MCs and their lack of dope rhymes are responsible for the state of the world, it has emerged.

London couple who ‘don't need a car’ want a lift

A COUPLE from London who insist they do not need a car have asked for a lift.

Man seems to think he helped out with World War Two

A 42-YEAR-OLD man thinks he had something to do with Britain’s historical military victories.