Society

Man thinks fellow cafe customers will enjoy sound of videos he is watching

A MAN in a cafe has decided to share the sound of the internet videos he is watching, because he thinks everyone will probably like that.

Couple having extension 'nightmare' should shut up now

A COUPLE who have enough money to make their house bigger should stop whining about the trauma it is causing them, it has been confirmed.

Uniting behind Brexit a bit hard if you think it's shit

'COMING together' to make a success of Brexit is difficult if you believe it is a heap of shit, it has been claimed.

Poor people to graze on London's 'garden bridge'

LONDON’s new ‘garden bridge’ will be grazed by herds of people living below the poverty threshold, it has been confirmed.

Unstable friend now somehow a counsellor

A WOMAN with a chaotic personal life and a history of believing in total nonsense is now being paid to give people advice, shocked friends have revealed.

People in massive cities don't live in real world, says man from tiny village

CITY dwellers are completely cut off from the realities of modern life, according to a man from a tiny rural village.

Men desperate to help push car

A GROUP of over 80 men is jostling to help push a broken-down car.

All fiction banned in case some moron thinks it is real

FICTION-BASED books, films and television programmes have been banned to avoid confusing idiots.