THE government is to bring back the term ‘riff-raff’, which will be used to describe the sort of children not welcome at new grammar schools.
A MAN on a crowded train has actually bought a ticket for the bag on the seat next to him.
A DEADBEAT uncle mistakenly believes he is a cool uncle, it has emerged.
A ROW over school uniforms has delighted a wide range of idiots across the UK.
BRITONS do not need to go to a nightclub to take drugs, it has been confirmed.
A WOMAN has decided to stop trying to achieve anything after discovering she is older than Beyonce.
A MAN who keeps commenting on the darker evenings does not understand that everyone else is trying to ignore it.
A GROWN man has wowed onlookers by skateboarding down a high street and doing some sort of flip that didn’t come off.
- Couple certain they are better than all other couples
- Drunk Scottish friend's text 'possibly paragraph from Irvine Welsh novel'
- Woman wants children before all the good baby names are taken
- Scratch cards considered dessert in Hull
- Parents now counting down every millisecond until child returns to school