Society

Outrage as Cameron prefers to chat to people with whom he has something in common

DAVID Cameron has provoked fury after admitting he prefers chatting to people who are even vaguely like him.

New exams will make it seem like children are being educated

A SHAKE-UP of GCSE grades will give the appearance of children learning things.

Network Rail clones Hitler

NETWORK Rail has begun production of Hitler clones that will make trains run on time.

80 per cent of men are twats

THE majority of men are either meatheads or vain self-absorbed idiots, it has emerged.

Porn 'age gates' appeal to teenage boys' innate sense of honour

AGE restrictions on pornography websites work because teenage boys are never deceitful, it has been claimed.

Mothers warned not to get used to this

MUMS have been reminded that things will be straight back to normal after Sunday.

ISA changes delight tedious bastards

DULL people are over the moon about the new 'super ISA' savings scheme.

Smoothie label includes dark sexual fantasies

A MANGO smoothie has admitted having warped desires, via a block of text on its packaging.