A MAN has gone on a three-day bender to reward himself for a relatively small life achievement, it has emerged.
A WOMAN is convinced there is life after death but without the unfashionable Christian elements, she has revealed.
BRITAIN’S indigenous mugs are being wiped out by the larger and more aggressive Sports Direct mugs.
A HUNGOVER office worker is this morning hoping that wearing headphones will somehow make him invisible.
A MAN has been left bewildered by a social interaction with other, more common men.
A SIX-YEAR-OLD girl taken on holiday during the school term will be a week behind in colouring for the rest of her life, teachers have confirmed.
THE married friends of a recently divorced man are trying very hard to sound like they feel sorry for him, it has emerged.
FRIENDS of 28-year-old Julian Cook fear they have lost him forever after he embraced aspirational bullshit.
- Shit thick internet users puzzled by not particularly hard maths question
- Dad who was miserable failure with girls forced to give relationship advice
- Rock climbers enjoyed excellent weekend of gruelling misery
- Vegan just happens to mention it in every other sentence
- Father stuns family by displaying an emotion