Society

Woman admits she's not on a voyage of personal discovery

A 33 YEAR-OLD woman has admitted she has not learned anything new about herself for at least seven years.

Britain rallying round buy-to-let landlords

BRITAIN has pledged to do all it can to help the country’s hard hit buy-to-let landlords.

Man who left Facebook never heard of again

A MAN who closed his Facebook account in August 2015 apparently no longer exists.

Freak just sitting there not looking at technology

A MAN sitting in a cafe without looking at any sort of screen has been condemned as a freakish misfit.

Cameron assumes steel workers just become male strippers

STEELWORKERS can make a good living if they retrain as male strippers, David Cameron has announced.

Libraries have terrible business model, says government

LIBRARIES are never going to make money if they dish out books for free, the government has claimed.

Modern dads fine with mawkish baby bullshit

MODERN fathers are just as capable as mothers at getting tediously over-emotional about their babies, they have announced.

Umbrella users confirm total disregard for others

UMBRELLA users have announced that everyone else must get out of their way.