Society

Class system broken down into people who say red sauce and people who say ketchup

THE British class system has been broken down to two types of people, those who say ketchup and those who say red sauce, it has emerged.

Devoted son spends hours searching for Mother’s Day discount codes

A LOVING son spent an entire morning googling coupon codes to get money off a bunch of flowers for his mum, it has emerged.

Dad trying to get kids into Catholic school claims to ‘f**king love the Pope’

A FATHER attempting to get his daughters into Catholic school told the admissions board that the Pope is 'fucking ace'.

School gate mums so competitive about children's achievements, says only mum doing it

ALL THE mothers at the school gate are horrendously competitive about their children’s progress, according to a mother who can think of nothing else.

Woman attempting to guess which person in Facebook photo she is friends with

A WOMAN is struggling to work out which of the unfamiliar smiling faces on her Facebook page she is supposed to recognise.

Lucky bastard schoolkid has art, drama and then history today

A LUCKY bastard of a schoolkid has got art this morning, then drama and then he's got history after lunch.

First class on regional trains not like Orient Express, man discovers

THE first class sections of regional trains do not feature the opulent luxury and fine dining experiences of the Orient Express, a man has found.

London in grip of normality

LONDON is today in the grip of normality, with millions having their breakfast then going to work.