A MAN is facing an impossible dilemma between getting drunk in the pub or getting drunk at home.
A STATUE of Cecil Rhodes at Oxford University has come to life and gone on a racist rampage through the town.
A MAN has confirmed he is completely happy in his comfort zone and the chances of him leaving it are zero.
PEOPLE who seemed quite nice are preparing to split up with their partners in surprisingly brutal ways, they have revealed.
NOT changing out of your pyjamas saves vital time for bloody-minded disputes with perceived authority figures, parents have claimed.
HARD-WORKING master bedrooms have spoken out against idle spare bedrooms that do nothing but claim benefits.
FAILURE is always an option despite what they tell you, experts have confirmed.
ASYLUM seekers must make themselves identifiable by humming Gimme Shelter by The Rolling Stones, ministers have confirmed.