Society

Man who despises May still a bit concerned about her

A MAN who despises everything Theresa May stands for has found himself strangely worried about her wellbeing.

Londoner who gave directions to stranger experiences thrill of human connection

A LONDONER who helped a woman find her way to a hospital appointment is still reeling from the intense power of human interaction.

Scientists discover couple caught in endless ‘I don’t mind, you decide’ loop

A COUPLE are at risk of starving to death after becoming tangled in an 'infinite non-decision loop' over what to have for dinner.

Train passengers vow revenge on woman who asked them to move up a bit

A WOMAN who asked fellow train passengers to 'move up a bit' has become the subject of intense, lifelong hatred by several complete strangers.

Idiot really chuffed with his sunburn

AN idiot has proclaimed his sunburn to be some sort of achievement.

Couple holding hands in the street really pissing everyone off

A COUPLE enjoying a romantic stroll around the shops are taking up the entire fucking pavement, other pedestrians have confirmed.

Men get their horrible legs out

MEN have decided that today is nice enough to be ruined by them exposing their horrible, gnarled, white legs to the world. 

Woman realises she's slept with at least four Tories

A WOMAN has been horrified to realise that she has had sex with at least four Conservative voters.