Middle-aged man still dogged by school rumour about getting off with a rabbit

A 46-YEAR-OLD man is still plagued by a rumour from his school days that he French-kissed a rabbit.

Man hands teddy bear into lost property instead of putting it on social media

TWITTER and Facebook users are hunting for a man who failed to turn a lost toy into a viral internet phenomenon.

Sniffer dogs ‘being set up as migrant crisis scapegoats’

SNIFFER dogs drafted in to tackle the Channel Tunnel migrant chaos are worried they are being ‘stitched up’ by David Cameron.

Today final deadline for summer romances, warns HMRC

REVENUE & Customs has warned that all summer romances must begin by midnight.

Cheaper to commute from Moon than live in London

COMMUTING from the Sea of Tranquility is now cheaper than renting a studio flat in Camden.

New theme park exclusively devoted to angrily bollocking children

BOLLOCKINGLAND in Kent is the first theme park just for angry parents who want to publicly tell off their children.

Shopper horrified to discover she is a ‘real woman’

A MOTHER-OF-TWO has expressed dismay at discovering she is a ‘real woman’ like in television adverts.

Tosser policeman not going soft on cannabis

PC TOM Logan is determined to keep busting people for having tiny amounts of cannabis because he is a tosser.