Society

PE teacher pretending to have read and understood Jane Eyre

SCHOOL staff shortages forced a PE teacher to pretend he’s read Jane Eyre, it has emerged.

Psychics still a thing

PSYCHICS are still in existence despite the fact it is 2016.

Men spend most of lives imagining they are manager of favourite football team with an unlimited budget

MEN spend around 60 per cent of their lives daydreaming about managing their favourite football team with unlimited money to spend on players, it has emerged.

Mum asking questions on Facebook like she's never heard of Google

A MUM is using Facebook to ask questions that would be easily answered with an internet search.

Businesswoman’s credibility undermined by partially faded nightclub stamp

A WOMAN’S otherwise convincing presentation has been undermined by the fading nightclub entry stamp on the back of her hand.

Friend of friend turns out to be massive arse

A FRIEND’S friend has revealed himself to be an unmitigated arsehole.

Normal people to commandeer the nice bits of hipsters' lifestyles

NORMAL people will be able to commandeer the lifestyle of a local hipster, it has been confirmed.

Man in great mood can’t tell anyone it’s because he’s scored coke

A MAN in an uncharacteristically buoyant mood is unable to tell his colleagues it is due to having scored two grams of cocaine for the weekend.