Society

Open plan restaurants ‘not delivering enough chef carnage’

CHEFS working in open plan kitchens should have more amusing painful mishaps, according to restaurant customers.

Pink hair people launch their manifesto

PEOPLE with pink hair have issued a document explaining who they are and what they want.

Syria-bound family just really hated Stoke

MEMBERS of a British family headed for Syria have confirmed they were just sick of the Midlands.

Key to relationships is dumping the other person first

RELATIONSHIPS are about dumping your partner before they can dump you, it has been claimed.

Local newsagent has spectacular amount of pornography

A LOCAL newsagent has an astounding array of pornographic magazines, it has emerged.

Old white men to be able to do whatever they like

OLD white men are to behave as they please unless it affects other old white men.

Tossers ‘curating’ everything

AN arts twat claims to have curated a cup of tea by adding milk and sugar.

Annoying women claim to look alike

TWO close female friends claim to look almost identical despite this obviously not being the case.