Society

Sight of band setting up strikes fear into drinkers' hearts

PUBGOERS were plunged into despair after realising a band was preparing to perform.

Man find himself in middle of life with no idea what he was looking for

A MIDDLE-AGED man has found himself standing in the centre of his life struggling to remember what he came in for.

Baby desperately wants to untag itself

A BABY has been trying to remove itself from Facebook, it has emerged.

Divorced parents left unattended

CONCERNS are growing after a divorced couple have been left alone together for the first time in over a decade.

Sexting ruined by knowledge of grammar

A STEAMY texting session has been ruined by a man’s familiarity with the subjunctive.

Train becomes your house when you buy a ticket, say twats

THE train is your house on rails where you can do whatever you like, according to many passengers.

Cyclist who stopped at red light questions own manhood

A CYCLIST who failed to ride right through a red light has been left wondering if he is any kind of a man.

Woman consults phone 63 times without filling internal void

A WOMAN has looked at her smartphone 63 times in a day without finding the cure for her inner emptiness.