BRITAIN is finally safe from the perils of Tony Benn, the Sun has declared.
EVERY residential property and office in London is to become a work-residential timeshare.
HIGH earners are more likely to be good at shouting, it has emerged.
ANYONE who runs a large business or organisation is obviously incredible, experts have confirmed.
THE 'furry' subculture, whose members dress as animals to have sex, have demanded a celebrity advocate for their lifestyle.
MINIMUM wage earners have blasted their pay rise of 19p an hour as inadequate recompense for losing their multi-million pound bonuses.
LONDON tube drivers have admitted that the game may be up.
COUNCILS have started plunging unemployed people in rivers to see if they float, it has been confirmed.