Society

Teenager too talented to go to university

A TEENAGER is so talented that going to university would be a waste of time for him, he has announced.

90 per cent of people want to post 'so?' under everyone's status updates

MOST people just want to write 'so?’ underneath every status update they see on Facebook, it has been confirmed.

Girls whispering about you

THESE girls are whispering about you, it has been claimed.

No one sure how to tell couple all their baby names are ridiculous

FRIENDS of an expectant couple are unsure how to tell them that all their baby names are utterly absurd.

Bastard cat refusing to do that cute thing he does

A BASTARD cat has shown up his owner by refusing to do that adorable thing he does every day.

Successful A-Level student to mention results every day for rest of life

A STUDENT who received top A-Level results plans to work them into every conversation she has for the rest of her life.

Parents practising shocked expressions ahead of son's shit A-level results

A COUPLE are working hard on their shocked faces in preparation for their son’s inevitably shitty A-level results.

White supremacists ‘commemorate the past’ by living with their parents

WHITE supremacists are ‘commemorating the past’ by refusing to leave their parents’ basements.