Man paralysed with fear of being dubbed a hipster

A 29-YEAR-OLD man has been left unable to do anything because he fears any activity could be deemed ‘hipsterish’.

Child benefit limited to Ladybird book children

CHILD benefit will only be given to families whose children resemble the 1950s youngsters in Ladybird books.

Police send out clear message that legal highs are not legal

THE police have denied that the illegality of legal highs is in any way confusing.

Human being has unexpressed thought

A HUMAN has thought of something and kept it to himself, it has been claimed.

Overweight dancer mercilessly patronised

38-year-old Norman Steele has been targeted by patronising supportive remarks for being a larger dancer.

Restaurant couple clearly on a voucher

A COMMON-LOOKING couple in a fancy restaurant were only there because of an internet voucher, according to fellow diners.

Slankets ‘unacceptable’

BLANKETS with arms have no place in a civilised world, it has been claimed.

Ancient demonic entity saving kids from half term boredom

PARENTS have praised Mexican demon Charlie for giving children something to do during the half term break.