Pothole confident it will survive latest council tax increase

A POTHOLE is ‘100 percent certain’ an increase in council tax will have no effect on it whatsoever.

Women can now eat crisps

WOMEN are finally able to eat crisps with their delicate lady mouths thanks to the launch of a female-friendly version of the popular snack.

Man who wants to know if you can still pay women a compliment would never pay a woman a compliment

A MAN outraged about potentially having a comment misconstrued is in no danger of it ever happening.

Parents jubilant after child learns to pour bowl of cereal and turn on TV

A COUPLE are celebrating with prosecco in bed now that their child can fend for himself until midday, they have confirmed.

Babies turn into dickheads at 4pm

BABIES who have been perfectly happy all day, turn into utter shits between 4pm and 6pm, it has been confirmed.

Woman who 'doesn't want to butt in' manages to

A WOMAN who ‘really doesn’t want to get involved’ in someone else’s argument has managed to find a way of doing so.

Idiot carefully explains why hen parties are just like the World Darts Championship

AN IDIOT has set out his theory of why hen parties are just as sexist as the World Darts Championship.

Mother-in-law a 'fascist nightmare on gak' until babysitter needed

A WOMAN'S mother-in-law is basically a Nazi on speed until the babysitter cancels and a quick replacement is needed, it has been confirmed.