BEHAVING as if you're going to die tomorrow will lead to humiliating and possibly deadly situations, experts have warned.
MANY poorer pupils are bright enough to understand their own limited prospects, it has emerged.
46-YEAR-OLD Tom Logan can turn any conversation around to how much he earns.
AN online parenting expert's baby was actually a football, it has emerged.
OFFICE worker Tom Booker reckons he's real hot shit after potentially making £350 on Royal Mail shares.
THE majority of the UK's mothers are writing a novel about sado-masochistic sex, it has emerged.
THE UK is to be adapted to cater to its increasing number of non-literate citizens, the government has announced.
THE legal driving age is to be restricted to the 20 years of your life when you are least likely to drive like an idiot bastard.