Society

Friend with wife, children and six-figure job thinks he's better than you

A FRIEND who has a stable marriage, two happy children, a fulfilling high-earning career, a big house and an expensive car believes it makes him superior to you.

Everyone already hates mature student

A MATURE student returning to university to take a second degree is already loathed by his fellow students and tutors alike, they have confirmed.

Year Nine announce gains in war against enthusiastic new teacher

LEADERS of the Year Nine rebel insurgency have announced significant gains in its war against a keen new teacher.

Jammy millennial only spends 70 per cent of his salary on rent

A MILLENNIAL man is the envy of his peers after revealing he has an incredible 30 per cent of his monthly income left after paying his rent.

Woman seeing three men at once struggling with the admin

A WOMAN dating three different men simultaneously is finding it an organisational nightmare, she has confirmed.

Experts unable to explain why anyone would buy bottled beer in a pub

EXPERTS cannot work out why anyone would buy a small, expensive bottle of beer in a pub.

Couple having Disneyland wedding 'not ready for marriage'

A COUPLE who have chosen Disneyland Paris as their wedding venue are probably not prepared for the reality of actual marriage, friends have agreed.  

Pathetic excuse for man only runs half marathon

A FEEBLE loser has announced plans to run a pathetic 13 miles to derision from his friends, family and colleagues.