References to ‘brunch’ going unmocked

BRITONS are talking about ‘brunch’ without getting the piss ripped out of them, it has emerged.

Motorists to wear stupid racing clothes like cyclists

CAR drivers are to dress in helmets and flameproof overalls in a move inspired by the high-tech racing attire of cyclists.

Man plays it cool by launching Facebook search for girl he met briefly at festival

A MAN who met an attractive girl at Bestival has taken the casual approach by launching a massive online search for her details.

Fresher dabbling in patois

A MIDDLE-CLASS fresher has admitted experimenting with a version of West Indian patois in an attempt to look cool.

Everything now happening 'for a generation'

THE term 'for a generation' must be used for any vague but long-sounding period of time, experts have confirmed. 

Ticket inspector going for some sort of gold medal in being a dickhead

A TICKET inspector has convinced passengers he is taking part in a dickhead contest.

New regulator leads to massive improvement in press behaviour

BRITAIN’S newspapers have undergone a moral transformation thanks to the introduction of a new regulator.

Married friends sit back to see if singles will mate

A COUPLE who invited an unattached man and a recently divorced woman to a dinner party are hoping they will breed.