CHEESE which is weaker than ‘medium’ is an abomination, experts have confirmed.
SHORT men have confirmed plans to spend the day contemplating their small stature.
SHOTS do not count as a round of drinks, expert drinkers have agreed.
AN UNDERAGE boy has been served a pint of beer by his local pub after age recognition software confirmed that he was 44 years old.
A LONELY man believes he has picked up subtle sexual signals from a female colleague’s behaviour.
A VEGETARIAN has rejoiced at the one suitable meal offered on a restaurant menu.
A SELF-EMPLOYED man would love to be trapped in a soul-destroying salaried job, he has confirmed.
TWO-THIRDS of all immigrants were imprisoned on their home planet Krypton before escaping and heading to Britain, the Daily Mail has revealed.