Society

Uniting behind Brexit a bit hard if you think it's shit

'COMING together' to make a success of Brexit is difficult if you believe it is a heap of shit, it has been claimed.

Poor people to graze on London's 'garden bridge'

LONDON’s new ‘garden bridge’ will be grazed by herds of people living below the poverty threshold, it has been confirmed.

Unstable friend now somehow a counsellor

A WOMAN with a chaotic personal life and a history of believing in total nonsense is now being paid to give people advice, shocked friends have revealed.

People in massive cities don't live in real world, says man from tiny village

CITY dwellers are completely cut off from the realities of modern life, according to a man from a tiny rural village.

Men desperate to help push car

A GROUP of over 80 men is jostling to help push a broken-down car.

All fiction banned in case some moron thinks it is real

FICTION-BASED books, films and television programmes have been banned to avoid confusing idiots.

Woman 'only drinks champagne' because she's a nightmare when pissed

A WOMAN who acts like a sophisticated occasional drinker only does it because alcohol turns her into a raging psychopath, it has emerged.

New housemate excited to reveal own personal brand of lunacy

A WOMAN who managed to act normal during a 20-minute interview for a room in a shared house cannot wait to reveal how insane she is.