INCREASINGLY narcissistic Britons only want to have sex with themselves, it has emerged.
A STAG party has petered out after only three hours of drinking.
THE forthcoming all-night London Underground services will be even scarier than night buses, according to Boris Johnson.
SINGLETON Tom Booker has filled in his online dating profile with information about his professional skills and employment history.
OFFICE joker Stephen Malley has admitted his seemingly spontaneous workplace quips are rigorously workshopped.
THE UK has been spared the prospect of a flag that looks like a tattoo on a cretin.
A FALL in unemployment may be connected to Iain Duncan Smith’s new pie shop in central London.
CATS have asked for a change in policy so they can be owned by people who are not weird.