Wife-stealers hail Grand Theft Auto V

BRITAIN'S womanisers have begun targeting Grand Theft Auto V widows.

Britons ‘not prejudiced, just thick’

MOST Britons are good-natured morons rather than unpleasant bigots, research has revealed.

Students houses are barter economies based on hot drinks and joint rolling

BRITAIN'S student houses are medieval-style barter economies where skills such as tea making, washing up and joint rolling are exchanged.

Public demands shops begin Christmas

CONSUMERS have demanded that shops immediately start selling Christmas stuff.

Dogs win Worst Pet for 14th year in row

THE Bad Pet Awards have once again named dogs as the single worst thing anyone could possibly have.

After Eight genius 'forgave those who put empty envelopes back in box'

BEFORE his death, Brian Sollitt, the inventor of the After Eight, forgave people who put the empty envelopes back in the box.

School may as well start at 17 for all the difference it would make, say experts

THE official school starting age should be raised from five to 17 because we may as well, experts have claimed.

Most people not the class they think they are

MOST Britons are not part of the social class they have always claimed they are, research has revealed.