Men with long hair far too into it

MEN are unable to have long hair without becoming preening narcissists, it has emerged.

Legal system to be replaced by what everyone on Twitter reckons

ALL trials are to take place on place on Twitter in order to save money.

Manchester to be completely covered in spikes

THE city of Manchester is to cover all pavements, walls and street furniture with metal spikes to stop locals getting soft.

TV dramas spark gazing revival

THE once-popular pastime of staring into the distance for minutes at a time is back in fashion thanks to Wolf Hall and Broadchurch.

Women going on Valentine’s dates for the food

WOMEN across Britain are to endure a Valentine’s date because it is in a restaurant.

Conversation with barber exactly repeats last one

A MAN'S bi-monthly conversation with his barber was word-for-word the same as the one two months ago.

Friday the 13th still luckier than any Monday

FRIDAY the 13th, supposedly the unluckiest day in the calendar, remains some distance better than any Monday according to researchers.

Please stop f**king around with your eyebrows, women told

WOMEN have been asked to stop dicking about with their eyebrows because it looks ridiculous.