Working class man not particularly angry

A WORKING class man has confirmed that he is not remotely full of hate.

Sucker MCs to blame for everything

SUCKER MCs and their lack of dope rhymes are responsible for the state of the world, it has emerged.

London couple who ‘don't need a car’ want a lift

A COUPLE from London who insist they do not need a car have asked for a lift.

Man seems to think he helped out with World War Two

A 42-YEAR-OLD man thinks he had something to do with Britain’s historical military victories.

'Hungover' now recognised as a school of philosophy

THE wisdom and insight that comes with a hangover is to be taught as part of philosophy courses.

Everyone getting hammered tonight for bad reasons

BRITAIN is to get hammered as usual tonight but for bad reasons, not celebratory, end-of-the-week ones.

Clinical, joyless humans have already finished their Christmas shopping

EARLY shoppers have already bought all the cold, impersonal gifts which they will hand to the humans they are obliged to exchange them with.

It is possible, says woman who survived four-year relationship with twat

A WOMAN who survived four years with a knobhead has given hope to humanity.