Society

Latest 80s revival is man’s relationship with school girlfriend

FOLLOWING Ghostbusters and Stranger Things, the latest 80s revival is Nathan Muir’s relationship with Nikki Hollis from 1988.

Elderly to be cared for by the china figurines they love so much, says government

BRITAIN’S elderly will be cared for by their china dogs, milkmaids and ladies in fancy hats, the government has announced.

Londoner fascinated to hear about life in ‘the regions’

A LONDONER is desperate to hear more about the provinces after learning of ‘life forms beyond the M25’.

Man claims his life being ruined by immigration but can't explain how

A MAN who feels immigration is negatively affecting his life cannot give a single concrete example of how, he has revealed.

New dog realises he is there to make or break relationship

A NEWLY adopted dog is realising he has been brought in to prevent a break-up.

Utter lunatics taking their kids to a festival

A PAIR of deranged maniacs are going to take their children to a music festival while their friends stand back and let them.

New parents grateful for deluge of contradictory advice

FIRST-TIME parents have expressed their gratitude for the deluge of completely incompatible, hysterical advice.

Woman who keeps voting Tory can't work out why public services are shit

A WOMAN who keeps voting for Conservative governments cannot understand why her local services are terrible.