Airport pubs hailed as best bit of going on holiday

BEING able to get legitimately drunk at 7am is the best part of going abroad, it has been confirmed.

Man expects praise for not being a misogynist

A MAN thinks he deserves recognition and respect for not being an obvious misogynist.

Easter weekend looking like being a real pain in the arse

THE Easter weekend is looking like being a real pain in the arse for most people.

Middle class parents concerned about lack of dark chocolate Easter eggs

MIDDLE class parents have expressed concern at the lack of dark chocolate Easter eggs for their children's refined palates.

Barista's band is thankfully really shit

AN OBNOXIOUS hipster prick barman's band is thankfully really shit, it has emerged.

Everyone pretending to be cool with unexpectedly expensive restaurant

A GROUP of diners are pretending to be unfazed by the discovery that they are at an incredibly expensive restaurant.

Pompous arse thinks he's some sort of Brexit peacemaker

A MAN keeps telling people they should put aside their differences over Brexit like he is Gandhi or something, it has emerged.

We just don't think about the weird bits of the Bible, admit Christians

CHRISTIANS avoid doubts about the implausible parts of their faith by simply not thinking about them, they have revealed.