Society

UK fine with Islam if you could get pissed

BRITONS would be happy to live under strict sharia law if they could get pissed, a survey has found.

Police vow to stop Jack the Ripper before he kills again

POLICE are closing in on notorious serial killer Jack the Ripper.

Scotland having some sort of referendum, apparently

SCOTLAND plans to have some kind of referendum that could take place as early as next week, it has emerged.

Illegal immigrants disguised themselves as 200 Lambert & Butler

A SURREY woman was shocked to find cigarettes she bought in France were actually illegal immigrants.

Coffee table books show exactly the kind of people couple pretend to be

AN ASSORTMENT of large, shiny books has given guests a perfect insight into their hosts' fictional lifestyle.

Quick drink after work now means seven

GOING for 'a drink' after work means going for seven drinks, it has been confirmed.

Polo shirt wearers slammed for lack of effort

POLO shirts are not acceptable at smart occasions, lazy bastards have been told.

Five-year-olds told fun is over for next 60 years 

CHILDREN have begun six decades of doing things they do not want to do.