BEING able to get legitimately drunk at 7am is the best part of going abroad, it has been confirmed.
A MAN thinks he deserves recognition and respect for not being an obvious misogynist.
THE Easter weekend is looking like being a real pain in the arse for most people.
MIDDLE class parents have expressed concern at the lack of dark chocolate Easter eggs for their children's refined palates.
AN OBNOXIOUS hipster prick barman's band is thankfully really shit, it has emerged.
A GROUP of diners are pretending to be unfazed by the discovery that they are at an incredibly expensive restaurant.
A MAN keeps telling people they should put aside their differences over Brexit like he is Gandhi or something, it has emerged.
CHRISTIANS avoid doubts about the implausible parts of their faith by simply not thinking about them, they have revealed.