Society

Racists no longer bothering to say ‘I’m not a racist, but…’

RACISTS feel it is now socially acceptable to just come straight out with it.

Sleazy men ‘just doing a character’

BRITAIN’S sleazy men have confirmed that they are just performing as their amusingly ribald alter egos.

Idiot right by chance

A COMPLETE idiot holds an opinion that is correct entirely due to luck, it has emerged.

Urban explorer fascinated by quite boring places

AN urban explorer has admitted being strangely fascinated by dull places such as store rooms, telephone exchanges and water pumping stations.

Britain still pretty good at Pot Noodle

BRITAIN continues to lead the world in noodle rehydration, it has been confirmed.

Fireworks ceasefire agreed

BRITAIN'S explosion enthusiasts have agreed to halt bombardment until New Year's Eve.

Product somehow succeeds without social media bullshit

A PACKET of four-inch roofing nails is mysteriously selling to the public without having a Facebook page.

Man has infantile phone voice for partner

AN office worker has a nauseating, child-like phone voice that he uses when speaking to his girlfriend.