Friends rally round to make break-up worse

AN EX-COUPLE’S friends have rallied round during their break-up to try and make it all much worse.

Britain either entering new golden age or totally f**ked

THE UK is entering a new era of glory or is totally and utterly screwed, experts have confirmed.

Woman claims her 'mummy blog' will be different from all the others

A WOMAN has announced plans to start a mummy blog that will definitely be different from all of the others.

Autocorrect can tell woman still pissed from night before

A SMARTPHONE’S autocorrect function can detect when its user is still drunk from the night before, it has emerged.

Government to abolish inspirational teachers

INSPIRATIONAL teachers have no place in Brexit Britain and will be scrapped, the government has confirmed.

Man puts big light on again

A MAN has once again put the big light on despite knowing full well that his girlfriend prefers the lamps.

Meditation leads to painfully obvious spiritual insights

A MAN who recently took up meditation has gained spiritual insights that anyone could have thought of, it has emerged.

Parents welcome third child who is clearly an accident

A COUPLE have welcomed their third child, who is clearly an accident although they are playing that down.