Society

Man says ‘bosh’ after completing even the most basic task

A MAN uses the meaningless word ‘bosh’ after doing even the simplest thing, it has emerged.

Female body hair 'may stop women meeting gits'

FEMALE body hair is a massive turn-off for virgins, shallow narcissists and picky twats, it has emerged.

Mum finally finishes reading daughter’s teenage diary

A MOTHER has finally got around to finishing reading her now grown-up daughter’s teenage diaries.

Mobile library playing ice-cream van music just to f**k kids up

THE driver of a mobile library is playing the chimes of an ice-cream van on his rounds as the perfect way to upset children, he has confirmed.

Woman angry with boyfriend about what he did in her dream

A WOMAN who dreamed that her partner was having an affair with her best friend has remained absolutely furious about it for the whole day.

Man finally old enough to go for pint by himself

A MAN has expressed joy at finally being old enough to go for a pint alone and not have anyone question him about it.

Britons demand to live in medieval village surrounded by a wall

MEMBERS of the public have told politicians they will not settle for anything less than living in a small village surrounded by a high wall.

Couple saving to take parents out and ask them for a mortgage deposit

A COUPLE are setting aside money so that they can take their parents to a local restaurant and beg for a house deposit.