Society

Camping trip only planned to heighten appreciation of house

A FAMILY are spending a weekend camping in order to really appreciate their three bedroom house.

First-time buyers’ definition of London now includes Coventry

A COUPLE looking to purchase their first home are claiming that Coventry is an up-and-coming part of the metropolitan area.

Britons mistaking parents for friends

MILLIONS of Britons treat their parents as if they were their friends, it has emerged.

Hipster-owned pets ashamed of their idiotic names

PETS owned by hipsters have expressed anger at being given names that are either jokes or knowing cultural references.

‘Straight Pride’ parade organiser gives up after realising all parades are a bit camp

THE man behind a ‘Straight Pride’ parade has conceded that any succession of floats, marching bands and costumed adults is going to look camp.

Woman in Quiet Zone expects deathly silence for entire journey

A WOMAN travelling in a train’s ‘quiet zone’ has declared the entire journey must be spent in a deathly, mausoleum-like silence.

Infidelity websites lead to sex with middle aged people who cry a lot

ADULTERY websites lead to hassle, paranoia and sex with sad middle aged people who keep bursting into tears.

Brighton to become the UK’s first ‘twats only’ town

UNBEARABLY smug seaside twat haven Brighton is to ban ordinary people.