Woman who cried at Pride of Britain awards delighted by benefit cuts

A WOMAN moved to tears by the Pride of Britain awards is also pleased about new benefits cuts.

Man loves saying things are 'al dente'

A MAN uses the expression ‘al dente’ wherever possible, it has emerged.

Conversations with phone on speaker 89 per cent more likely to be about annoying bullshit

PEOPLE using their phones on speaker are highly likely to be discussing some irritating bullshit, it has emerged.

Do all white people like camping? asks BBC

THE BBC has launched a thought-provoking investigation into whether all white people enjoy camping.

Police truncheon anyone calling for Orgreave inquiry

PEOPLE contemplating an inquiry into the ‘Battle Of Orgeave’ have been broken up by mounted police.

Gay man finds it in himself to tolerate religious person

A GAY man has met a Christian who appears civilised and could even be described as nice.

Single woman genuinely loves getting shitfaced alone

A WOMAN who went to a dinner party with three annoying couples would definitely rather be getting hammered at home, she has confirmed.

Man to say 'You can take the mask off now' numerous times today

AN OFFICE worker has confirmed plans to repeatedly tell workmates to take off their masks because it is no longer Halloween.