RAGING alcoholic Tom Logan celebrates Oktoberfest every day in his flat, he has claimed.
THE terrifying black-eyed child haunting Cannock Chase is only after a scooter, it explained.
A COUPLE has begun the first tentative moves towards sexual intercourse before the end of October.
BRITAIN is to scrap all human rights laws and just go with its gut.
MEETING or exceeding work targets is now being recognised with a range of shiny stickers.
A FORMER school classmate is behaving as if you had a much closer relationship than was actually the case.
DRINKERS who vowed not to touch alcohol for one month have decided to delay the pledge for thirty days or so.
FANS of fashionable US-type food have been reminded that it is just meat with cheese on it.