Babies cry out of spite

INFANTS cry at night because they're little bastards, according to new research.

Pet snakes 'a cry for help'

ANYONE who owns a pet snake is secretly begging for someone to stop them, psychologists have agreed.

People who alter their houses told to stop acting like heroes

HOME improvement enthusiasts are not doing anything that worthwhile, it has been claimed.

Television cleverer than books

WATCHING television drama is more mind-expanding than reading contemporary fiction, it has been claimed.

Frozen yoghurt shops clearly a front for something dodgy

SHOPS specialising in frozen yoghurt must be a cover for some form of criminal activity, it has been claimed.

Most people now not really middle class

MOST people in the UK are members of the ‘not really middle class’ class, research has revealed.

'I have no filter' enters Oxford Dictionary of Twattery

THE Oxford Dictionary of Twattery has announced this year's new entries including 'I have no filter', 'YOLO' and '[x] is in my DNA'.

Middle-aged man 'was wearing non-Superdry clothing'

A 42-YEAR-OLD male was chased by other middle-aged men after attending a barbecue wearing a shirt that was not from Superdry.