A BAN on books in British prisons has deprived inmates of makeshift cigarette filters, according to insiders.
WORKERS are going without hot drinks because everyone in the office thinks they're above making tea, it has emerged.
BRISTOL is the UK's best city to live in because cannabis is unofficially legal there, it has been claimed.
TEENAGERS are refusing to start an era-defining subculture unless there's money involved.
MOST Britons will spend their pension pot on stupid, crazy stuff the very moment they get their hands on it.
BRITONS desperate to own homes are increasingly opting to live in Playstation games.
PEOPLE who drink sherry after a vigorous afternoon of paintball have demanded a tax cut.
BRITAIN is now fully abnormal after Bez, the Happy Mondays dancing man, decided to stand for Parliament.