Woman discovers she isn't that popular after moving to remote part of London

A WOMAN has discovered she is not all that popular after moving to a part of London that is quite hard to travel to.

Government to build 200,000 starter shitholes

MINISTERS have confirmed plans to build affordable shithole houses across the UK.

Workmate reveals wild side by discussing tattoo he will never get

A MAN has given workmates a glimpse of his wild side by discussing a tattoo that he will never get.

Kid from Year 8 knocks out kid from Year 10

A BOY from Year 8 has won a fight with a boy two years his senior, it has been confirmed.

Man who stayed in missed greatest night out of all time

A MAN who decided to stay in has missed the greatest night out in the history of nights out, it has emerged.

Grown woman pays money for handstand classes

A GROWN-UP woman has admitted she is paying to learn how to do handstands.

'Street food' incredibly expensive for something that's meant to be off the street, say experts

PLACES that sell 'street food' do not have 'street prices', it has been confirmed.

Old lady in supermarket’s reduced section will drop you for 6p pack of sausage rolls

AN 87-YEAR-OLD in Tesco’s reduced section will end you if you get between her and a 6p pack of sausage rolls, she has asserted.