A BLACK Friday shopper has stopped hitting a pensioner in the face so she can take in the atmosphere.
AN unemployed, single and homeless man is racing against time to sort his life out before seeing his relatives for Christmas.
PEOPLE who claim to be perfectionists are just moody bastards, it has emerged.
ANGRY men have told Tesco to remove signs implying toys are for children.
THE new anti-terrorism bill will give everyone the choice of being a spy or an enemy of the state.
A FREE meal at a high street restaurant is ample reward for months of relentless poorly-paid toil, according to employees.
THE government has confirmed that you are too busy to eat properly, exercise or enjoy relationships.
ANYTHING that makes you unhappy is a direct result of class war, it has been confirmed.