BBC decides Britain 'not ready' for Glaswegian Dalek

THE BBC is under fire after claiming Britain ‘could not cope’ with a Glaswegian Dalek.

'I am here to f**k shit up' says baby at wedding

A BABY attending his first wedding is looking forward to causing total carnage.

Man outwits Student Loans Company by staying poor forever

AN ingenious graduate has hatched a plan to avoid repaying his student loan by never earning a decent wage.

Joy as grown man falls off skateboard

BRITAIN was cheered yesterday as a man on a skateboard fell hard on his face while trying to ‘ollie’ up a kerb.

Two Waitrose shoppers trapped in endless ‘no, after you’ loop

TWO shoppers have become trapped in the doorway of their local Waitrose with both insisting the other goes through first.

Adults who say 'sleeps' instead of 'days' told to pack it the f**k in

ADULTS who think it is quirky and fun to use words like ‘sleeps’ and ‘holibobs’ have been told to just stop it.

Man working up courage to use middle urinal

A MAN is trying to find the courage to urinate between two strangers.

Brexit riots ‘would be shittest riots ever’

ANY riots caused by Brexit being cancelled or watered down would be extremely poor quality, experts believe.