Beautiful woman has no incentive to be less annoying

A BEAUTIFUL woman is to continue being annoying because everyone will still be nice to her.

Woman forgets to eat lunch but remembers to tell everyone about it

A WOMAN who claims she didn’t even notice when she skipped a meal has made sure to tell everyone about it.

People posting stuff on timelines that should really have gone in a message

NOBODY wants something posted on their Facebook timeline that could have been put in a message, it has been confirmed.

Cat’s owner thinks it has favourite flavour of catfood

A CAT owner believes her pet discriminates between different flavours of meat chunks.

Man takes off Monday to spend time with roast leftovers

A MAN has called in sick today so he can properly enjoy the mountain of roast lamb and vegetables in his fridge.

Man at party refuses to acknowledge he drank out of can that was being used as ashtray 

A MAN has tried to just play it cool after drinking from a can that had been used as an ashtray.

Woman becomes middle class after eating crisps from a bowl

A WOMAN has unveiled her new middle class status by eating crisps from a bowl.

Father asks for cash value of Father’s Day present

A FATHER-OF-TWO has told his children that instead of a novelty tie or beer mug he would prefer the cash equivalent this Father’s Day.