Gay man finds it in himself to tolerate religious person

A GAY man has met a Christian who appears civilised and could even be described as nice.

Single woman genuinely loves getting shitfaced alone

A WOMAN who went to a dinner party with three annoying couples would definitely rather be getting hammered at home, she has confirmed.

Man to say 'You can take the mask off now' numerous times today

AN OFFICE worker has confirmed plans to repeatedly tell workmates to take off their masks because it is no longer Halloween.

Friend from university is an arse now

A MAN who bumped into an old university friend has discovered that he is now a total dickhead.

Middle class family planning incredibly lame ethical Halloween

A MIDDLE class family is celebrating Halloween in a way that is respectful to witches and does not involve sweets.

Teacher unsure about getting smashed eighth night running

A TEACHER unsure if he can manage an eighth straight night of drinking acknowledged that half-term gives him little choice.

Homeless man looking a bit down today for some reason

A HOMELESS man who is usually upbeat seems a bit down today and no one’s quite sure why.

Brexiters struggling to think of anyone they like  

FANATICAL Brexit supporters are hard-pressed to think of any group in society they do not hate, they have admitted.