Society

40p taxpayers to get Pippa Middleton wedding invite

ASPIRATIONAL 40p-rate taxpayers can come to Pippa Middleton's wedding, George Osborne has announced.

HS2 money to be pissed away faster

THE government is being urged to quicken the pace at which it pisses away the HS2 budget.

Man owns nothing except brand new MacBook

27-YEAR-OLD Tom Logan has no possessions except a few clothes and a state-of-the-art Apple laptop, it has emerged.

The Sun declares Britain safe as 88 year-old peace campaigner dies

BRITAIN is finally safe from the perils of Tony Benn, the Sun has declared.

All London properties to become timeshares

EVERY residential property and office in London is to become a work-residential timeshare.

Success mainly down to having a loud voice

HIGH earners are more likely to be good at shouting, it has emerged.

All bosses are absolutely amazing, say experts

ANYONE who runs a large business or organisation is obviously incredible, experts have confirmed.

Furries demand celebrity spokesperson

THE 'furry' subculture, whose members dress as animals to have sex, have demanded a celebrity advocate for their lifestyle.