Office party bosses going to touch your arse

BRITAIN'S bosses have confirmed plans to let their hands 'accidentally' fall onto buttocks at the office Christmas party.

Young people just going to change pension age back later

YOUNG people have announced plans to lower the pension age by several decades once they’re in charge.

Motorists lose badge of superiority to cyclists

THE abolition of tax discs has left drivers without physical evidence of paying something that cyclists don't.

Black Friday and Cyber Monday followed by Broke On Arse Thursday

MILLIONS of consumers are regretting their actions on the brokest day of the year.

Methamphetamine is top Christmas gift

A PRE-CHRISTMAS rush on crystal meth has left dealers unable to cope with demand.

Workers' carrot to remain slightly out of reach

GEORGE Osborne has announced that the carrot you want will remain tantalisingly beyond your grasp for a little longer.

Rich people ‘a bunch of freaks’

ALL rich people are total freaks, experts have confirmed.

Parents warned to stop calling their children Lily or Jack

BRITISH parents' desire to give all children the name Jack or Lily could have sociological repercussions, experts have warned.