A MAN has been deceived into thinking he is a professional chef by food websites and celebrity cookbooks.
SCIENTISTS have been unable to identify a single worthwhile reason for dropping litter.
PEOPLE with big letters strewn around their homes are illiterate morons, it has been confirmed.
RESEARCHERS have definitively proven that children aged 11-16 are in complete command of any bus they are on.
THE UK government has been overthrown by a liberal elite junta headed by Guardian columnist Polly Toynbee.
SHOWING initiative is a waste of time for the person who does it and those who have to live with the consequences.
MIDDLE-AGED couples are legally required to wear matching practical jackets to even the most inappropriate occasions, it has been confirmed.
A NATIONWIDE personality study has found that only 0.4 per cent of the population is not obsessed with sofas and fighting.