Brexiters struggling to think of anyone they like  

FANATICAL Brexit supporters are hard-pressed to think of any group in society they do not hate, they have admitted.

Mother politely asked to breastfeed in skip

A MOTHER breastfeeding in a shop was politely asked to go and do it in a nearby skip instead.

Calais migrants relocated to UK’s fevered imagination

THOUSANDS of migrants from the Calais 'Jungle' camp have been relocated into the minds of paranoid Britons.

Man’s luxury watch successfully impresses fellow twats

A MAN’S ludicrously expensive wristwatch has gained him the respect of other total bellends, he has revealed.

Mild cheese not cheese, say experts

CHEESE which is weaker than ‘medium’ is an abomination, experts have confirmed.

Short men to spend day thinking about being short

SHORT men have confirmed plans to spend the day contemplating their small stature.

Shots are not a round, say experts

SHOTS do not count as a round of drinks, expert drinkers have agreed.

Pub forced to serve 15-year-old because age recognition software says he’s 44

AN UNDERAGE boy has been served a pint of beer by his local pub after age recognition software confirmed that he was 44 years old.