A RETRO fanatic has set up a free school providing a traditional 1980s education.
PRINCE Charles has instructed his mother that he intends to wait out his days as heir to the throne in the pub.
BRITAIN'S 500,000 cynics have been released from temporary incarceration below the Olympic stadium.
BENEFIT assessments have been replaced by TV game show-inspired challenges including 'Dole or No Dole'.
AFTER weeks of Olympics, Britons are celebrating the end of disruption to the television schedules.
DRINKING at least three pints of beer at lunchtime could put Britain's economy back on track, it has been claimed.
THE contribution of drug addicts to British society is to be honoured at the first National Junkie Day.
FAST food giant McDonalds is re-branding its restaurants as foodless leisure spaces for bored, hostile teenagers.