Knighthood For Child Who Made Own Bed Every Day For A Week

JACK Logan, the child who made his own bed every day for a week, has been knighted in the New Year's honours list.

It's A Horrible Life

GORDON Brown sat on the railing of the old iron bridge that takes people in and out of the small town of Bedford Falls and stared at the freezing water.

Britain gets the stupid Christmas advice it deserves

GOVERNMENT guidelines on Christmas safety in the home are every bit as obvious as they need to be, it has been confirmed.

Britain Mugged By Good Samaritan

THE good Samaritan who has offered to pay for your physiotherapy is the same man who mugged you in the first place, it was claimed last night.

No-One To Blame For Stockwell Tube Station Poster

NO-ONE should be blamed for an insensitive film poster displayed at Stockwell Underground station, watchdogs said last night.

Everything Now A Huge Lie

EVERYTHING you have ever been told is a colossal lie and the global economy is a $100 trillion fraud, it was confirmed last night.

Government Does Not Understand Us, Say Long-Term Unemployed

LONG-term unemployed people attacked the government last night, saying it obviously has no idea what makes them tick.

Film to show man going to the toilet

THE exact moment a man goes to the toilet is to be shown on television.