Grown man still telling people what he wants to do when he grows up

A 37- YEAR-OLD man with a mortgage and a child on the way is still telling people what he wants to do when he grows up.

Jobseekers to face sanctions if they don't appear in Channel 5 documentaries 

PEOPLE claiming benefits are to face sanctions if they do not appear in a Channel 5 documentary about unemployed people.

Today is the perfect day to crap on the carpet, decides dog

A NEW carpet has given a family dog a fresh sense of purpose in life, it has emerged.

Reluctant locals forced to participate in cheese rolling

UNWILLING Gloucestershire residents have been made to chase a wheel of cheese down a hill by Londoners wanting to see authentic rural life.

We’ve been hurt so bad before, voters tell polls

THE UK electorate wants to trust but is still carrying emotional baggage from its bad experiences with polls in the past, it has admitted.

Woman instantly regrets telling square colleagues about time she got really pissed

A WOMAN seems like an alcoholic after relating a mildly debauched anecdote to colleagues, she has realised.

Man who despises May still a bit concerned about her

A MAN who despises everything Theresa May stands for has found himself strangely worried about her wellbeing.

Londoner who gave directions to stranger experiences thrill of human connection

A LONDONER who helped a woman find her way to a hospital appointment is still reeling from the intense power of human interaction.