SCOTLAND plans to have some kind of referendum that could take place as early as next week, it has emerged.
A SURREY woman was shocked to find cigarettes she bought in France were actually illegal immigrants.
AN ASSORTMENT of large, shiny books has given guests a perfect insight into their hosts' fictional lifestyle.
GOING for 'a drink' after work means going for seven drinks, it has been confirmed.
POLO shirts are not acceptable at smart occasions, lazy bastards have been told.
CHILDREN have begun six decades of doing things they do not want to do.
DESPITE being good at using technology, children are useless at adult pursuits like pub brawls or running a small business.
BORIS Johnson is to create an island sanctuary for people called Boris.