LONDONERS are leaving the capital for Birmingham because it is the only city in Britain unpleasant enough for them to cope with.
A 10-YEAR-OLD boy has visited a real-life house of horrors where the television is sometimes turned off for hours at a time.
A LONDONER is struggling to come to terms with a wonderful Victorian building in his area that is still serving the purpose for which it was built.
THE ‘liberal elite’ consists of anyone who has read a book out of choice, Theresa May has confirmed.
A MAN gets a weird self-righteous buzz from talking about how screwed everything is.
A WOMAN enjoys shaking her cat’s food box to make it run into the house and then not feeding it.
ASKING someone washing their car to ‘do yours next’ is now illegal.
A CAFE that serves cheap food to hungover hipsters can’t figure out if it is incredibly cool or just convenient.