Society

Scotland having some sort of referendum, apparently

SCOTLAND plans to have some kind of referendum that could take place as early as next week, it has emerged.

Illegal immigrants disguised themselves as 200 Lambert & Butler

A SURREY woman was shocked to find cigarettes she bought in France were actually illegal immigrants.

Coffee table books show exactly the kind of people couple pretend to be

AN ASSORTMENT of large, shiny books has given guests a perfect insight into their hosts' fictional lifestyle.

Quick drink after work now means seven

GOING for 'a drink' after work means going for seven drinks, it has been confirmed.

Polo shirt wearers slammed for lack of effort

POLO shirts are not acceptable at smart occasions, lazy bastards have been told.

Five-year-olds told fun is over for next 60 years 

CHILDREN have begun six decades of doing things they do not want to do.

‘Tech-savvy’ children shit at adult things

DESPITE being good at using technology, children are useless at adult pursuits like pub brawls or running a small business.

Johnson to press ahead with island for people called Boris

BORIS Johnson is to create an island sanctuary for people called Boris.