Buying a house was so stressful, say unbearable bastards

BECOMING a homeowner is just awful, according to the worst two people you know.

Office full of weird cliques no one would ever want to join

AN office is full of cliques formed by people no one would ever want to hang out with, it has emerged.

Woman who has totally run out of career options to become a life coach

A WOMAN has become a life coach after exhausting all other job options.

Man realises all his older relatives are fascists

A MAN’S older relatives who seem quite nice all agree with Trump and have worryingly fascistic views, he has discovered.

Dinner party guests competing over who has the most working class roots

A GROUP of middle class people sitting in a fancy house all genuinely think they are actually working class, it has emerged.

Pathetic block of cheddar demolished in single sitting

A BIG block of extra mature cheddar has proven itself weak and helpless in the face of one fearless man.

Child bends time to make minutes seem like years

A CHILD spent so long fucking about putting on his shoes that his parents aged by seven years, it has emerged.

Bored mum about three weeks away from becoming pen pals with an American convict

A BORED mum is under a month away from becoming pen pals with some guy on Death Row, it has emerged.