Society

Society obsessed with breasts except in most natural context

BRITAIN is desperate to see breasts except when they are being used to feed a baby, it has been claimed.

Government to spend £600bn on four gigantic things

THE government is to spend almost £600 billion on the four biggest things it could think of.

Number of housewives needing sex with any male internet user reaching crisis point

THE volume of attractive wives needing immediate no-strings sexual encounters is becoming a humanitarian crisis, it has been claimed.

Northern grandmother gets sprouts on

A GRANDMOTHER in Lancashire has begun boiling the vegetables for her Christmas dinner.

It’s not our fault, say large TVs

LARGE television sets have condemned their media portrayal as icons of consumerist stupidity.

Hand-dyed, loom spun, artisan selvedge denim jeans still look quite like Jeremy Clarkson’s

A HUGELY expensive pair of bespoke jeans still resembles those worn by a Top Gear presenter, it has emerged.

All drug-related crime ‘basically the same as Breaking Bad’

ANY real-life situation involving illegal drugs is like something out of Breaking Bad, according to newspaper editors.

Intrepid daredevil spurns travel insurance

A FEARLESS adventurer has stunned friends by venturing overseas with scant regard for lost luggage or flight delays.