Society

Entire family being melodramatic twats about Brexit

A FAMILY has decided to treat the referendum result as an overwrought personal drama.

Britons slam government for letting them vote

MILLIONS of Britons are furious that they were allowed to vote on leaving the EU, they have announced.

‘Okay, what the Jesus f**king balls is going on?' asks Britain

EVERYBODY in the UK would like to know precisely what the actual fuck, it has been confirmed.

Sharp drop in number of old ladies being helped across the road

THE number of old ladies being helped to cross British streets has plummeted since Friday.

Someone talks about something else

SOMEONE has briefly changed the subject, it has been confirmed.

Sunderland to become futuristic metropolis by 2018

SUNDERLAND will become a gleaming, futuristic utopia by 2018 now that Britain is leaving the EU.

Racist nan definitely going to bother

A RACIST nan who is fuelled entirely by hate has began her slow and unsteady journey to the polling station.

Beautiful woman has no incentive to be less annoying

A BEAUTIFUL woman is to continue being annoying because everyone will still be nice to her.