Group of arseholes in pub getting bigger

AN OBNOXIOUS group of after-work drinkers is getting larger, dismayed pub customers have noticed.

Brexiter returns to petty neighbour feud

BREXIT supporter Tom Booker has returned his attention to a long-running feud about his neighbours' garden path.

Internet daters to get basic normality guidelines

ONLINE dating services are to issue guidelines on how to behave vaguely normally when meeting a potential partner.

Sight of band setting up strikes fear into drinkers' hearts

PUBGOERS were plunged into despair after realising a band was preparing to perform.

Man find himself in middle of life with no idea what he was looking for

A MIDDLE-AGED man has found himself standing in the centre of his life struggling to remember what he came in for.

Baby desperately wants to untag itself

A BABY has been trying to remove itself from Facebook, it has emerged.

Divorced parents left unattended

CONCERNS are growing after a divorced couple have been left alone together for the first time in over a decade.

Sexting ruined by knowledge of grammar

A STEAMY texting session has been ruined by a man’s familiarity with the subjunctive.