Society

Urinal neighbour wants to chat

A STRANGER who is standing beside you holding his penis wants to know if you are having a good night.

Alcoholic ‘just enjoying his own private Oktoberfest’

RAGING alcoholic Tom Logan celebrates Oktoberfest every day in his flat, he has claimed.

Black-eyed ghost child just wants scooter

THE terrifying black-eyed child haunting Cannock Chase is only after a scooter, it explained.

Couple begins three-week process of initiating sex

A COUPLE has begun the first tentative moves towards sexual intercourse before the end of October.

Human rights laws to be replaced by gut instinct

BRITAIN is to scrap all human rights laws and just go with its gut.

Good performance at work to be rewarded with stickers

MEETING or exceeding work targets is now being recognised with a range of shiny stickers.

Old school acquaintance acting like you were friends

A FORMER school classmate is behaving as if you had a much closer relationship than was actually the case.

Sober October deferred until No-Drink November

DRINKERS who vowed not to touch alcohol for one month have decided to delay the pledge for thirty days or so.