Society

Size of wine glass linked to how smug you are

PEOPLE who make a point of drinking out of wine glasses the size of fish bowls are the smuggest bastards of all, it has been confirmed.

Car apparently fun

A MAN owns an extra car that he claims to drive for ‘fun’, it has emerged.

Stoned guys agree organised religion is bullshit but there probably is a God

TWO stoned guys have concluded there probably is some sort of God out there but that all religions are nonsense.

Friend with wife, children and six-figure job thinks he's better than you

A FRIEND who has a stable marriage, two happy children, a fulfilling high-earning career, a big house and an expensive car believes it makes him superior to you.

Everyone already hates mature student

A MATURE student returning to university to take a second degree is already loathed by his fellow students and tutors alike, they have confirmed.

Year Nine announce gains in war against enthusiastic new teacher

LEADERS of the Year Nine rebel insurgency have announced significant gains in its war against a keen new teacher.

Jammy millennial only spends 70 per cent of his salary on rent

A MILLENNIAL man is the envy of his peers after revealing he has an incredible 30 per cent of his monthly income left after paying his rent.

Woman seeing three men at once struggling with the admin

A WOMAN dating three different men simultaneously is finding it an organisational nightmare, she has confirmed.