A HIGH-SPEED train service will halve the time it takes to commute between Leeds and Manchester for a fight.
A VEHICLE more than 14 years old passed several newer and more powerful cars on the M4 yesterday.
A HOMELESS man drinking high-strength lager in a park is going to enjoy today more than you.
MEN are considering whether to start having emotions about things that are not sport.
MEN are increasingly worried that their barbecue is smaller than average, it has emerged.
ANYONE without a valid passport is to be confined in a vast internment camp the size and shape of the United Kingdom.
PEOPLE who don't like everything must have something wrong with them, it has been confirmed.
SOCIAL contact with neighbours must be avoided at all costs, experts have warned.
- Everyone learning Spanish actually just looking for a relationship
- Speedy boarding named most feeble attempt at one-upmanship
- Middle class families standing round unsolicited tabloid newspaper on doormat
- Britain hoping ‘spornosexual’ just goes away
- World’s Second Greatest Dad mugs this year’s big seller