BRITONS must today face either the deadly weather or poisonous spiders.
EACH household in Britain will be given a thing to be absolutely terrified about.
BRITAIN'S retired people are producing overwhelming amounts of poor quality artwork, experts have warned.
THE majority of people just repeat popular words and phrases without knowing what they mean.
FACEBOOK has cleared users to post videos of decapitations alongside witty or inspirational quotes.
LONDON homes are being bought up by galactic emperors after becoming unaffordable to humans.
BEHAVING as if you're going to die tomorrow will lead to humiliating and possibly deadly situations, experts have warned.
MANY poorer pupils are bright enough to understand their own limited prospects, it has emerged.