Baby desperately wants to untag itself

A BABY has been trying to remove itself from Facebook, it has emerged.

Divorced parents left unattended

CONCERNS are growing after a divorced couple have been left alone together for the first time in over a decade.

Sexting ruined by knowledge of grammar

A STEAMY texting session has been ruined by a man’s familiarity with the subjunctive.

Train becomes your house when you buy a ticket, say twats

THE train is your house on rails where you can do whatever you like, according to many passengers.

Cyclist who stopped at red light questions own manhood

A CYCLIST who failed to ride right through a red light has been left wondering if he is any kind of a man.

Woman consults phone 63 times without filling internal void

A WOMAN has looked at her smartphone 63 times in a day without finding the cure for her inner emptiness.

Delusional man thinks he’s getting his tenancy deposit back

A DELUSIONAL man thinks he is going to get his deposit back from a private landlord.

Cocktail barman overly concerned about customers making right choice

A COCKTAIL barman cares too deeply about which drink his customers order, it has emerged.