A SIX-YEAR-OLD girl taken on holiday during the school term will be a week behind in colouring for the rest of her life, teachers have confirmed.
THE married friends of a recently divorced man are trying very hard to sound like they feel sorry for him, it has emerged.
FRIENDS of 28-year-old Julian Cook fear they have lost him forever after he embraced aspirational bullshit.
INTERNET users have been confused by a maths question from a children’s exam because they are as thick as shit.
A FATHER who was unable to attract women in his youth is having to advise his son about relationships, it has emerged.
BRITAIN’S rock climbers had a satisfying weekend of fear and physical discomfort, they have announced.
A VEGAN casually mentions her dietary preferences in roughly 50 per cent of the things she says, it has emerged.
A FATHER of two has sent shock waves through his family by showing a complex emotion.