Society

Facebook refusing to offer relationship status of 'married to the sea'

FACEBOOK is still refusing to offer its users the relationship status of being 'married to the sea', it has been confirmed.

Middle-aged men reminisce about all the drugs they used to take

A GROUP of middle-aged dads are to spend an evening remembering just how off their tits they got in their younger years.

Families taking term-time holidays face not being able to show off about it

FAMILIES who take term-time holidays risk a fine if they show off about it on social media, it has been confirmed.

Man in favour of pre-decimal currency too thick to use it

A MAN who wants to return to pre-decimal currency after Brexit is too thick to understand the confusing system, it has emerged.

People without kids dreading Easter Holidays even more than parents

PEOPLE who prefer to avoid children are concerned that they will be absolutely everywhere next week.

Woman to boycott Pepsi until first moment it's inconvenient

A WOMAN offended at Kendall Jenner’s Pepsi advert has sworn to boycott the drink until the moment it becomes inconvenient.

Man thinks bullshit business course is genuinely educational

A WORKER studying for a pointless management qualification thinks it is genuinely educational, he has revealed.

Waitrose shopper struggling with hot drink benefits cuts

37-YEAR-OLD Waitrose shopper Emma Bradford is struggling to cope after the supermarket cut her hot drink benefits, she has revealed.