Society

Race horses changing names by deed poll

INCREASING numbers of Britain’s race horses are changing their original idiotic names, it has emerged.

Indifference to babies now illegal

ANYONE who does not have a fanatical love of babies will be sent to prison, the government has warned.

Woman inspires others by not uploading photos of post-baby body

A 26-YEAR-OLD woman has not posted pictures of her body shortly after having a child, inspiring others to be less moronic.

Last remaining CD tower demolished

THE UK's last remaining CD tower, capable of holding more than 88 albums, has been destroyed.

No Garys left in Britain by 2050

GARYS could be wiped out within a generation after it emerged there have been no children named Gary since 1992.

Homeless fairies getting into smack

FAIRIES evicted from a wood in Somerset have turned to drugs and crime, it has emerged.

Enjoyment of film ruined by lurking cursor

A 31-YEAR-MAN has expressed deep frustration at his failure to make the cursor disappear while watching a film on his laptop.

Tarot cards an excuse to say unpleasant things freely

TAROT readers are only doing it to make character judgments for which they would otherwise be punched, it has emerged.