FICTION-BASED books, films and television programmes have been banned to avoid confusing idiots.
A WOMAN who acts like a sophisticated occasional drinker only does it because alcohol turns her into a raging psychopath, it has emerged.
A WOMAN who managed to act normal during a 20-minute interview for a room in a shared house cannot wait to reveal how insane she is.
A FATHER is feeling inadequate after his bastard next-door neighbour built a far superior snowman.
A BUS driver has been wrongly thanked at the end of a bus journey, it has emerged.
FUTURE generations will walk around the Stonehenge A303 road tunnel wondering why it was constructed, it has been confirmed.
A WOMAN dislikes anything and anyone that tries to improve the world, it has emerged.
A PLUMBER regularly humiliates men in their own homes because they do not understand plumbing, it has emerged.
- Britons beg to be released from tyranny of Facebook birthdays
- Man finds true happiness comparing himself to less successful friends
- Strike-hit workers competing over bullshit travel stories
- Londoners wonder if this living hell is worth it to be slightly ahead on food trends
- Utter dickhead wants to know why his relationships keep going wrong