A MAN who bumped into an old university friend has discovered that he is now a total dickhead.
A MIDDLE class family is celebrating Halloween in a way that is respectful to witches and does not involve sweets.
A TEACHER unsure if he can manage an eighth straight night of drinking acknowledged that half-term gives him little choice.
A HOMELESS man who is usually upbeat seems a bit down today and no one’s quite sure why.
FANATICAL Brexit supporters are hard-pressed to think of any group in society they do not hate, they have admitted.
A MOTHER breastfeeding in a shop was politely asked to go and do it in a nearby skip instead.
THOUSANDS of migrants from the Calais 'Jungle' camp have been relocated into the minds of paranoid Britons.
A MAN’S ludicrously expensive wristwatch has gained him the respect of other total bellends, he has revealed.