Society

Carveries recognised as a religion

'GOING to the carvery' is now the UK’s biggest belief system.

Commitment-phobic gay man privately dismayed by Irish referendum

A GAY Irish man who can now legally wed his partner is desperate not to.

Professor bets he can turn SNP MP into a gentleman

A PROFESSOR has entered into a wager that he can make a Scottish National Party MP pass for a gentleman.

Cameron unveils plan to steal money from foreigners

DAVID Cameron has confirmed it is okay to steal stuff from foreigners.

Play-offs to decide school league tables

OFSTED School Performance Tables will culminate in play-offs and a Wembley Final.

Avoid trains, says Network Rail

THE public has been warned to avoid rail travel on any date.

Gay cake converted entire tray of bread rolls to homosexuality

A GAY wedding cake has turned some bread rolls gay after being left beside them on a bakery counter.

Work experience student surprised to be made Trident launch button supervisor

15-YEAR-OLD Stephen Malley was asked to sit at the Trident missile controls and not press anything, it has emerged.