I surfed to work, claims arsehole Londoner

AN INSUFFERABLE London-based interface designer claims to have surfed into his workplace from his Hertfordshire home.

Consumers of dairy-free cheese need to realise it's total bullshit

THE people buying and eating dairy-free cheese need to give it up, it has been confirmed.

Middle-class mum radicalised by John Lewis

FRIENDS of a middle-class mother of two are concerned at her increasingly extreme pro-John Lewis views.

‘Making memories’ not always a good thing, Facebook idiots learn

IDIOTS on Facebook are beginning to realise that memories are not only made by happy occasions but painful and humiliating ones.

Keeping cannabis illegal ‘sends important message that you can ignore laws if you want’

THE government is keeping cannabis illegal to send a message that you can pick and choose which laws to obey, it has confirmed.

Middle class grandparents demand ridiculous ‘original’ nicknames

A PAIR of middle class grandparents have confirmed that names like 'granny' and 'grandad' are too boring for people as unique and special as them.

Man in favour of more competition doesn’t realise he would be f**ked

A MAN who supports grammar schools and other forms of competition in life is unaware he would fail spectacularly under those arrangements.

Man who ‘believes in British values’ just likes Christmas and dislikes immigrants

A MAN who claims to love traditional British values cannot explain what they are in any detail.