STATISTICALLY illiterate Britons are being shocked and surprised by percentages that only relate to a tiny number of actual things.
HUMANS are being transported across London in crammed, sweltering underground carriages, it has been revealed.
38-YEAR-OLD Tom Logan is controlling his hair destiny by shaving his head and growing a beard.
EVERYBODY is getting wasted on prosecco this year, supermarkets have confirmed.
81-YEAR-OLD Mary Fisher's opinion of a film is based entirely on whether it features pleasant scenery.
SEXUAL intercourse is probably the weirdest thing you will ever do, according to experts.
NO diner prefers a slab of black rock to a plate, chefs have been informed.
THE arrival of an Ocado delivery van outside a suburban home has aroused strong interest among neighbours.